Gratitude and Waiting

I don't have much of a focused theme for today's post. Just jotting down a few quick thoughts before my lunch break is up.

A week ago or so I hurt my knee. I was kneeling/crouching to put air in my tires. I was wrestling a bear. Two days later there was swelling, and I was completely unable to put weight on my right leg. I ended up going to an urgent care center and was diagnosed with bursitis. I think life wanted to poke me a little and remind me not to take anything for granted. Showering, putting on clean clothes, being pain free, not worrying about taking too much ibuprofen or tylenol are generally things we do daily and we don't think anything about it.

I spent a few mornings crying, unable to even stand up from the pain after using the restroom in the morning and it was very dehumanizing. It made me realize how much a person has, even if he hardly has anything at all. Health is truly wealth.

My boyfriend luckily took the best care of me that was possible. I was enduring the Facebook onslaught of Valentine's Day dates, dinners, flowers, chocolates, drinks, romance, proposals, and marriages. I felt supreme in having a gift that can't come in a box nor be delivered with roses. True caring and companionship on the deepest level.  I can't even take a picture of this intangible thing to post on Facebook, but its surely there since I felt it.

In the meantime I am waiting for some identity approval over at Shaadi.com to execute the previously thought out experiment. There are so many types of verifications and approvals I hope I am still able to conduct this experiment. If I am not, I will revert back to an American dating site which will surely reveal just as terrible mannerisms and behavior.

One final thought, on today which is a day that celebrates when Shiva married Parvati and they danced in the mountains, Shivaratri, I am not observing a fast. I will be eating vegetarian. I wanted to prove that I can walk in the path of a Hindu but I don't think I'm ready to take it on completely yet and doing so at a random point, might have less meaning. Do I mean to convert? Convert from what? In some schools of thought we are all born Hindu and its merely learning the poojas and practices. I was advised to study deeper into the meaning and if I felt strong enough, then do the appropriate fasting.

While I'm searching my own introspection to find out how I feel about that, I do feel very strongly against whatever sad, sadistic moron decided to defile Bothell's Hindu temple with a nazi swastika and the words "get out" .. The same person also spray painted the same to a school yesterday but it was addressed to Muslims .It is so sad to see ignorance breeding intolerance. This person clearly didn't even realize that swastiks come from Hinduism and were sadly misused by the nazis. I can only hope this person becomes educated and more matured and understanding on the matter, and hopefully more educated.

A Social Experiment is coming

One of my best friends just got married in Mumbai, and it was a very fun development to see happen. I got to see the inception of a relationship from just talking to find someone compatible to seeing beautiful emotions develop and now she's married! She always comments, "Why are girls told not to talk to boys, then to marry one and sleep with him." and its so very true. India's culture is in a strange flux where traditional values are being pushed down from elders (read as: arranged marriage) and more modern people (the young generation) are pushing back with love marriages.

One of my colleagues is currently looking to settle in the US and she is trying to find a guy and having a terrible time navigating the waters of dating. If she uses a website that is  American based she is very likely to find the majority of guys trying to sleep with her. Not all guys are like that, but from everyone I talked to, women often become victims of harassment, having men talk disrespectfully to them, sending rude or even nude photos over these sites. Now my friend is also checking shaadi.com which is known as an Indian Matrimonial site. This is a modern way to find a match (Here's another modern way with some humor) when you have decided to take the plunge into marriage, but more and more I'm told by friends people are using this for dating or sometimes even hooking up.

The harassment is something I have experienced first hand. Facebook is a large tool for promoting parties, social concepts, and one's personal brand. I get many random messages and it is very hard to know at first exactly what the person on the other end wants. Could it be an opportunity for collaboration that would advance my business, a networking contact to keep in mind for the future, an offshore resource I can rely on to help me develop more business ideas? An old time friend I met a long time ago? In order to figure this out I usually need to talk to the person and understand why they are contacting me. In the very early stages of my relationship with my boyfriend I had to explain to him why people contact me, and that it is not me soliciting this attention. A good example is when I post photos from Wicked Karma parties. If people in the photos get tagged, their friends will see their photos and often their friends are in India. There are many curious people who want to see more photos or connect with their friends etc.

The only type of message I haven't messaged yet is, of course, the unsolicited attention given by Indian men. "HELLO DEAR HOW ARE YOU" or "Your photos are so beautiful will you make friendship with me?" and many other messages that run the gamut of friendship in disguise to straight out photos of a man's penis have been sent to me. It is very disturbing that people feel that they should exercise the ability to do this, let alone think that its acceptable behavior.

I have called out many of these on my facebook page itself, but only now as society is looking to shame the men who send these awful messages have I thought about documenting the kind of bullshit that is sent to me. I think my plan is to leave Facebook to Facebook, but I'd rather like to expose the kind of lack of social skills, entitlement, and power seeking messages that arseholes send over these matrimonial sites.

I think, and with my boyfriend's blessing, I'd like to create a social experiment where I make a profile on shaadi.com, talk normally to people (I don't want to deceive honest people and need to figure out a way to avoid that) and see if any harassment is sent my way, and then publish it.

My goal by doing this is to empower people to speak out against this behavior. I recently saw one article that is calling out and shaming rapists, so I thought in a small way, we can examine the type of behavior that may be responsible for the prevailing rape culture in society, and try to disarm it by shaming the people who commit it.

When to laugh in a movie theater

There are so many awesome things I want to tell this blog, but I am waiting until the time is right. I've been in a long term relationship with a very special person, and want to shout to the world about the incredible things in our lives that should be celebrated but that right time hasn't come yet. When it does, I promise to write about the most interesting parts! In the meantime lets just say that I have an Indian Boyfriend.

So last night I sacrified sleep in exchange for watching Shankar's I, dubbed in Telugu (it was produced in Tamil) and with English subtitles with said Indian Boyfriend. It was a super movie from my perspective, but I'm not that harsh of a critic. I see entertainment as something to be consumed. Whether you are standing on the street with your hand dripping a little as you scoop a mouthwatering pani puri past your lips, or are sitting down at a fine dining restaurant to a full seven course meal, you probably aren't over-analyzing your meal. You just want it to taste good, be filling, and not cost an arm and a leg. I would say on average Indian cinema can deliver on that, but occasionally you taste something which you don't like (but others do) or even more rarely your meal isn't properly cooked and you want to send it back (I'm looking at you, Kareena Kapoor.) So in movie terms, instead of telling which plot point should have changed, the actors that should have been in the movie, and all of the other should have, would have, could haves, I try to just focus on the flavor and eek out what enjoyment there is.

I was most definitely enjoyable, and contained all the Tamil ihstyle you would expect. Highlights include a lengthy brawl in a male body building competition. Ladies and auntys rejoice, that is a scene that can be replayed for much enjoyment, and your male counterparts will surely enjoy looking on also to admire the impressive physiques.

The songs are beautiful and stunning, although somewhat jarring in Telugu. I imagine they must be worse in Hindi, this type of music you want to listen to in its natural tongue which is Tamil and I say its worth listening to even after the movie ends.

I was fascinated by the amount of sponsorship/product placement in this movie. Granted it focuses on a girl who acts in commercials, so the cheeky attitude about it was appreciated.

I don't want to give any spoilers but I watched this movie smiling just as I would eat a delicious laddoo.

One final thought, is that as a native English speaker, I find myself self conscious in these movies because I can read the subtitles faster than the proper timing in the dialogues is delivered. I have noticed I have adjusted when I laugh to match with the audience. Sometimes this is me holding in a chuckle that slowly builds into a rumbling roar if the joke is funny enough.

Do check out 'I', even if you're not normally a fan of south Indian film, it is definitely as consumable as any sweet.

Bollywood has gone the way of Pop

I was having dinner and drinks with another couple the other day at this incredible upscale Vietnamese place called Monsoon in Bellevue. We are all people who are very passionate about about music. The husband of the other couple is a producer and also a DJ and I'm the kind of person who appreciates most forms of music and wishes I had learned how to play something a long time ago. I still have some aspirations to learn to produce and DJ, I think the technical part of it would come to me well, there's just a big gap of instrument knowledge, musical math, and what not.

We started to talk about Bollywood. This is a genre I've only begun listening to since around 2010, and something most Indians are familiar with all of their lives. Some love and live by it, others prefer other styles of music or music from different parts of the world. This gentleman hates it. He says its uninspired, lacks originality, and as a producer you can't really do much with it.

This really got me thinking about how Bollywood music can be so divisive for people, and even thinking deeper about how people could hate music that is so catchy. Of course, every individual will have his or her taste in music. Whether its a regional folk song from your hometown in a village in India, or in your college years you discovered Rock music from America, or the incredible electronic styles coming out of Europe, music is a rhythm life moves to.

I had to look at what Bollywood is now compared to before. Many of my friends from India talk about how exciting it was when their family got a TV and how they would look forward to watching the 1-2 channels that were first available when it came out. How only later could they get more channels, and how they would rush out to the theater to see their favorite hero, or take a glimpse of a sexy heroine they wouldn't see otherwise.  The older generation of Bollywood was always paving the way for the next exciting movie, the more talented and muscle hero, the more edgy scene of movie making. Bollywood today has had its novelty and charm from yesteryear slowly eroded away to make room for the new multiplex movie blockbuster.

It's no longer about defining what India cinema is Mumbai, but who is going to invest more crores, earn more crores, do the newest stunts, which movie has the sexiest scenes, racing against other movies. Most of the people you see on the screen are all relatives of just a few families, so with this "progressive" attitude, Bollywood is a double edged sword. Yes, it is breaking through some social taboo, and some films are sending social messages, and some are actually artful (for example, Finding Fanny).

However, a lot of Bollywood is now recycled. There's very little new talent (and I'm not sure India would want to take a risk on new talent, versus following the personal drama of everyone's lives, and thriving on stupid newspaper articles on Deepika's assets) and very little innovation from a creative standpoint. Don't get me wrong, for pushing taboos of what is allowed in a movie and the messages some are sending, there absolutely is progress. Bollywood has the true power to influence the masses. However, if music is your passion, after thinking long and hard there is very little to excite.

Honey Signh is a household name and singing so many of the songs, they start to sound the same after a while. I remember driving on a trip to Oregon and the car-DJ puts on "Sharabi" which was featured to market Happy New Year. I felt so excited to hear a hindi rap that wasn't Honey Singh and also had a great sound.

My personal taste in music is a little different than the masses and I think it helps me understand. I love Tamil Rap so artists like Anirudh keep me interested, so when he suddenly teams up with Honey Singh, my ears perk up. When Bhaag Milka Bhaag came out, the throaty sound of Divya Kumar singing in a few songs that were fused with some very western elements were really curious. A.R. Rahman obviously keeps upping the ante with his music and experimental style.

When I think of the whole of Bollywood, the really popular songs, the dance songs, the ones that get requested in the club over and over again, however, there's a lot of stagnation. Many of these songs are sampling a western song and I feel torn. Part of me is like oh this is familiar! and the other part is like "I have already heard this 5 million times, now I'm hearing it in Hindi which I only understand a percentage of."

Some of the dance moves are copying each other, or older dances as well. For me, Kareena Kapoor and Katrina Kaif are practically interchangeable in any movie, as they are treated more like set decoration and sex objects than actual heroines. You can't even compare them to Deepika Padukone or Priyanka Chopra (Mary Kom anyone?).

What I realized at the end of a very long process is that it boils down to one thing. In America, we have a genre we call "Pop." This encompasses several styles of music, but mainly what is "Popular." These are usually upbeat songs that sometimes are earworms that get stuck in your head for days and you are singing the lyrics in the shower, or quietly at the office when you think no one can hear you. These songs have a recognizable beat and have sort of defined their own genre (You won't hear a pure rock song as a pop song now) but its hard to describe pop. It's kind of a pleasing music because its predictable. You know the beat, you can feel the song.

Bollywood has become India's Pop genre. Some people want to innovate and hear the newest latest greatest most amazing thing, and others are happy with the pure bliss that comes from hearing predictable music. I think I fall somewhere in the middle. Maybe I don't have to compare today's Bollywood that I hear to a legend like Shammi Kapoor. I find today's Bollywood easily digestable, but it leaves me hungry wanting more.

Cheers to over 100 years in cinema, and best wishes for getting out of your rut and redfining the future. The current heroes and heroines we have are going to continue to get older, and have kids (who won't yet be old enough to act for some time) and it will leave a gap for talent. Maybe some fresh faces on and off the scene will shake things up, who knows. Anything can happen, right?

Working hard to make an impact

The other night I decided that I want to soecially engage people more. I mean, I talk a lot, I speak to a lot of different people, and in general seem to be approachable and make new friends easily. Strangely enough, I don't always connect very closely, but I enjoy doing activities and my closer friends seem to be very occupied lately.

There's this great site called Meetup.com and it has topics by interest- Out and about, dance styles, hobbies, board games, cars, outdoors, hikes, you name it, its got everything. It even has some desi and Bollywood type stuff but one of my frustrations was that these places either contain the same recurring event over and over, or are very hit and miss to the content.

I thought it would be better if I bit the bullet and invested a little bit of time and a nominal fee to make an events group with a calendar I control. I even at some point was looking into integrating a calendar onto this blog, too, but I couldn't find a good looking plugin that I could control for it. I'm not a HTML or CSS whiz and just wanted something quick and dirty.

Meetup.com is affording me both an easy control of a calendar of events, plus a large audience of people craving to get together and do stuff!

I'm excited for this new endeavor and hope that I can meet people's expectations of the group. I hope I can provide relevant events happening in the area related to desis / Bollywood type events (including shamelessly promoting my own) as well as actual fun activities that can be anything from dinner, movies, bowling, snow shoeing or snow mobiling, hiking, water sports, there will always be stuff all year round.

I am looking forward to our first dinner tomorrow at PF Changs. I hope its the start of something really awesome. Let's see!

In the meantime I somehow am planning about 3 parties at once. September 27th is Seattle's Bollysutra Bollywood Hangover Dance party. I landed 2 venues for Halloween so Bollysutra's Bollywood Halloween SCREAM is going on October 31st along with another party at Corbu in Seattle I will be announcing soon - it will be EDM themed instead of Bollywood. I need to clone myself!

I love how ambitious I am and can't wait to see how I pull off the execution. Now I must go into costume planning as well.

I'm open to ideas!

What is Wicked Karma?

While I'm slowly slogging through posting my day by day trip report from India a looong time ago, a lot has transpired. My understanding of Hindi, while still terrible, is slowly expanding. My adoption of Indian culture is ever expanding (more on this in the future, but contingent on certain events in my life I will happily elaborate on in the future ) and last year in 2013 my best friend and I formed a company.

DJ RDX and I had previous experience working with a different Bollywood party group, but after being let go when we wanted to contribute our own ideas and work on things other than a club party, it just worked out this way, so we decided to pursue our own interests anyway. We had two really successful cruise parties trying to innovate what entertainment means for desis and non desis alike in Seattle. We also faced a few failures in 2013. We cannot innovate without a crowd attracted to us that trusts us.

We decided on a new approach in 2014 to have a party every month and build that crowd and trust with our customers and make a great experience and then do the innovative stuff. So far we're meeting our goals we set for 2014, which is awesome.

Q&A

How did you discover Bollywood music?
This may have been mentioned elsewhere on the blog but basically through my coworkers when I was consulting at AT&T. It was such a nice team we shared a lot of cultural things together. I think the first video song shared with me was Shiela ki jawani. After that my first Indian movie was Enthiran in Tamil, though it was also released as 'Robot' in Hindi.

As a kid, I would dance to music in my room because no one was watching. When I started hearing this music it made me feel like I could dance like no one was watching. Initially it was difficult for me to find music to listen to because I didn't know what I was searching for. The more songs I heard, the more I knew what to look for, and seeing my friends show me music helped me understand. If you are a fan, its as easy as searching on YouTube for "Bollywood" but its easier to narrow it to Bollywood 2014 or romance songs, or any other search key. I quickly started a long twisting journey through the genres of music Bollywood explores (its a total fusion, there's hip hop, instrumental, pop, electronic, acapella, and so many more). I quickly became addicted to listening to it and it was like a never ending acid trip through the rabbit hole.

Who is your favorite Bollywood actor or actress?
More and more I want to see strong female roles in Bollywood. Because of the cultural climate in India, only now in 2014 are we starting to see actresses (read: Heroines) break the mold of the damsel in distress or oppressed girl who isn't allowed to marry her lover and step into more complex roles like action or independant roles (Please watch Queen starring Kangana Renaut) I digress, if I have to talk about a female its probably Deepika Padukone or Anushka Sharma. The Kareena/Katrina thing I find unimpressive and lacking charm. Your opinion obviously will vary, I'm just stating mine.

Aamir Khan. My favorite hero. I don't know why he decided to do Dhoom 3 (I suspect to expand his role and step out of his typecast persona) but other than that he has made some very impactful movies. He also makes a television show speaking out on difficult/taboo social topics (The Indian Oprah?) called Satyamev Jayate. From Infanticide to rape and other topics people whisper about, he brings it into the public eye. I applaud him for this. I really hope to meet him someday.

How did you connect what became a passion for Indian music to planning events?
I feel everything happened on accident. Or maybe the right word is serendipity. While I was working at AT&T, I started attending club parties. I had never done this in my life, so for an American thats kind of a late blooming thing to do in your late 20s. I somehow met a very charismatic DJ and made a few suggestions, and hung a few posters at my workplace to help promote him. The next thing I knew I was growing a struggling party into a very large affair, doing a news interview, then organizing New Year's Eve parties and just becoming deeply involved with other fans of this.

When I started my own business to do this, I had experimental self taught skill in Photoshop and Lightroom, a self driven interest in SEO, and an intuitive knack of how to market something like this.

So you're saying you do all of the work?
So Wicked Karma is almost completely run by me and DJ RDX. I am completely the marketing and business side of things, and he dedicates a lot of time to hunt for new music and to practice his art of DJ'ing which is harder than it looks if you want to do it well. We have a core group of friends and other DJs who work with us that it simply would not be possible to produce 300+ person events without help. From door staff, to a photographer (and even handling technical difficulties) to rotating DJs and scoping out venues, a lot of hard work and dedication go into Wicked Karma from a lot of friends who are close like family. It really is a labor of love.

Does it make a lot of money?
I think people who attend parties don't understand how venues and entertainment groups work together and they probably perceive that everyone makes more money than they actually do. I think the more you invest, the more you get out of it. A startup company, with nearly nothing to invest, will not earn a lot, especially while trying to attract fans (both casual and core). If our day jobs were very glorious and high paying, I'm sure we could emulate some of the other groups around the USA who focus on bringing celebrities and throwing big parties. Some of the limitations we face are a limited amount of venues in Seattle, a smaller desi population than say Bay Area, LA, or New York City. Sometimes venues are already totally booked, sometimes there's direct competing events at the same place. A lot of variables go into the bottom line, but the bottom line for a brand new company isn't much. I have hopes to continue to grow and be able to offer more enticing options in regards to venue, special guests, and perks, however I know it will take time.

What about other Indian music?
I am constantly discovering new amazing music. If you're reading this and you're Indian, imagine discovering Rock and Roll or American Pop or hip hop music for the first time (or whatever you're a fan of) and that incredible feeling of 'OMG this is amazing.' I have delved into bhangra, hindi rock, Tamil (huge AR Rahman fan), starting to get exposure and learn about Telugu, Mallu, classical, different eras different styles. I love discovering new things and finding out what I like and what I don't. I love fusions of music too- Red Baraat and Delhi 2 Dublin are some favorites as well.

The problem is, only some of this music is suitable for the club. Of the music that is, there will be many Indians from different states that appreciate music in different languages, and there's no way to many any one party happy. We differentiate ourselves from competing parties as being strictly Bollywood (with the exception of a theme that might focus on another form). There has been a huge influence of Bhangra in Seattle (one of my favorite dance forms) but because of the behavior of others, we're hesitant to play too much of it outside of the realm of what songs show up in Bollywood films. A party group that no longer exists had trouble with violence in the club, and even recently this year a person was thrown through the glass at a different party's night. Its a difficult topic because its not the music's fault, but a few people spoil it for the rest of the crowd. We also look at Bollywood only from a branding perspective.

People are absolutely allowed to like more than one DJ at a time, but I think oftentimes DJs don't think that way. There's already a good representation of Bollywood/Bhangra/Top 40 in Seattle and we want to be branded as the Bollywood only group and see how our crowd develops. I'm sure there will be overlap in fans but so far, based on parties I've attended versus the ones I've thrown, we have attracted a totally different crowd and that makes me happy. I feel like people are getting to know us based on Bollywood reputation.

Do your Djs also produce music?
Yes! DJ RDX and our associated DJs love to invent new music as well. Unfortunately not everyone understands that DJs and producers are two very different things. Not all of our DJs produce. DJs are there in the crowd mixing live, and any wrong button pressed will completely influence the energy of the party. Producers have to understand music from a more mathematical point of view and use totally different tools. To them songs are broken into not only beats, but by different insutrments, sounds, voices. They combine old sounds to make new sounds, or use tools to even invent brand new sounds.

What's the most interesting thing that has happened in one of your parties?
There have been some interesting events that I've been a part of personally and some that I have heard about. I think just being different and doing the first cruise parties in Seattle was a landmark event. I often get asked in a party "Do you like Bollywood music?" by an attendee who probably doesn't realize I'm the host. That never gets old. I also have met someone very special in my life because of these events that I don't think I would have met otherwise. I think its the same for other people, a lot of friendships and bonding are forged. People make new friends, have new experiences, and get inspired to be more social and to break out of their shells and dance more. It was memorable when people got seasick/too drunk on the first cruise too. I opted to not post the photos of the leaning over the garbage can. The whole thing is such an organic process that we learn something new every party about how to plan our next and how to make it bigger and better.

If you could give one piece of advice to your fans what would it be?
I think I would recommend that people step out of their comfort zone. If its hearing a new form of music, or trying a dance step you see someone else doing on the dance floor, talking to someone you normally wouldn't have interacted with, take a little bit of courage and do it. It will enrich your life and broaden your horizon, even if just a little bit. If you've always wanted to do something - why are you waiting? Go try it!

Day 7- The Wedding Day & Valentine's Day

Unfortunately blogging always has a challenge of being appealing only when in the mood to write. Sometimes I'm busy doing other things, sometimes I'm not. I'm so glad I recorded my thoughts when I was in India to be able to continue to share them, even if at a snail's pace.

The day started with getting picked up by a van full of friends, some I've met in the US and some I've made here. We six went to the home of a mutual friend who was unable to make the trip back to India to attend the wedding. Her parents had set out this amazing spread of food and sweets and biscuits and had a really beautiful home. We sat down to lunch and they setup a webcam to talk their daughter who was in Seattle. It was nice to have everyone together and see how jovial and lighthearted they are. I rarely get moments like these because I don't usually get to go do things with a large group of friends. Usually it's small 3 maybe 4 people dinners but a trip to India and meeting people I know and hanging out was just way cool.

We ate as much as we could for lunch and drank just as much paani (water) as the filter here was really good and the water tasted great. Some of the guys even took a few bottles to go. We also got to talk to the daughter after eating and she shared the laptop around on video chat to show her friends and roommates who were also there and knew some of us. I didn't really know them but they gave an introduction. It was nice.

It was a beautiful warm sunny day out so after coming back to the grooms house with more sangeet happening we left for some last minute shopping. We found a tailor to do a very fast alteration on my suit. the top needed to be let out and he agreed to do it for rs 20. that's leas than 50 cents in USD!! incredible! We headed to Bhootnath market where some needed nagra type shoes (the tip is curled) and I wanted some bangles to wear with my Salwar. One of the ladies we were with jumped into a jewelry store guarded by a man with a large automatic weapon and I saw some anklets that were beautiful and I'm told this kind you'll only get in Lucknow. They are silver and sold by weight. I picked up a pair similar to my friends for rs 1700. Not bad for a type of jewelry you'll not find anywhere in the US. Speaking of things famous in Lucknow, it's known for tandoori chicken kabob and also Chikan fabrics. Chikan suits are hand made embroidered suits you can pick out and then have stitched accordingly to your size. I would love to get something like this for my mom but I'm not sure she would like the style. I think I'll have to look for some kind of kurta every day wear type thing.

I tried some street snack that was like a mixture of rice crispy cereal and salsa and it was actually pretty good (in hindsight this is bhel puri and some of my favorite chaat). In this market I saw so many pretty dresses for sale, lots of stalls selling knick knacks and some hawking religious things as well. There's sweets for sale and even fireworks. There was a flower stall as well that one of the girls picked to bring for the wedding and while we were waiting for the arrangement to be done there were street urchins begging us. We kept telling them no and finally someone bought them some fruit. I saw them picking through the bags but not eating. When I glanced again they were gone. I suspect these two commonly work at this market for some boss. If I was starving and begging for food and someone gave it I would be eating it then and there not running off.

From our group one of the girls picked a sari to wear with one of the guys getting his shoes. In the meantime a stall made a set of bangles for me that are beautiful red and green with white stones as well. They will match a few things I have to wear and they looked amazing with the mehendi on my arm. With a little trouble getting my American plastic to work in ATMs in India we haggled and begged. "Uncleji please let us have for this lower price, please." I really was always getting charged high prices just based on the color of my skin and hair.

We ran a little short on time so we had to go back and get ready for our friends big day! We picked up my altered suit which fit perfect and I grabbed a Thums Up on the way out, I love it's taste and we reached back and started to freshen up.

Right before all of the ceremonies were about to begin, someone brought a small brown bag to the groom's house. A few of us secretly stepped outside the Brahmin home to eat the most amazing Indian KFC chicken. I dream of how it tastes. I felt like a shady criminal, doing something untoward in an alley outside the home. In reality I was simply eating meat outside of the home to show respect to the family and it's beliefs who live there.

When we came back inside after eating and found the groom to have some thatched palm tied to his head, being walked down and a candle lit in the streets. I'm not sure what the word is for this but it had to be some form of pooja to help him on his journey to a blessed married life. We also watched as he was then dressed in a wedding form of dhoti and two men tightly wrapped a turban around his head.

We again came downstairs to see a beautiful horse. The groom would then mount the horse as we became the baraat, dancing our way between him atop the horse and a bus with a DJ playing bollywood and bhangra songs. We danced in the street, cordoned off by men carrying large pillars on their heads with rope lights keeping us safe from the traffic in the road we were sharing.

Street urchins dashed in and out hoping to pick up some spare coin from the elder folks swirling rs 100 notes (And more) above the dancers heads to bless them for a very good dance performance. They eventually disturbed us they got yelled at and kicked out of the baraat by my friend's uncle. It was sad and funny at the same time.

We eventually arrived at small hall where there was some small food, I think another ceremony was performced, then we danced again to the main wedding hall. This was as large as a football field, almost. As we came in we were greeted by all of the people from the bride's side of the family and inside there was a stage area, another area nearby with a fire burning, vendors lining the entire place with wedding food (pav bhaji, paani puri, hakka noodles, vegetarian, ice cream, sweets, you name it) mocktails, and even a paan & hookah stall.

We came in, roamed around, took photos, ate. I was approached by some brave desis who had some grasp on English and were eager to talk to me. I felt under the impression that an American coming so far for a wedding in Lucknow was not only memorable but I seemed like a celebrity. I also felt the stares from the thousand or so pair of eyes on me.

When the bride and groom were ready they walked out onto this small raised stage, holding large garlands (traditionally made from flowers which a game is played to 'catch' the other person) and everyone went wild as they placed the garlands on each other. A staple of nearly any Indian marriage (smaller customs vary not just on state but regionally, India is host to hundreds of cultures) This is one part of the ceremony done.

The bride and groom then sat and we joined them for dinner and drinks and guests came and gave their congrats. After a time, the people who came just for the food filtered out and we approached the mandap by the stage. As guests came in, we removed our shoes to sit near the bridge and groom for the coming rituals (Again a temple like respect is given so removing shoes is important) and a game of hiding the grooms shoe's began as the friends and family delighted in this childish game. Even to some of the Indians, the pandit who was beginning some chanting couldn't understand what he said, but its a very lengthy ritual. Sometimes the women were singing or drumming on a dholki, even I tried my hand at it and got some impressed looks as I tapped out what I thought was a bhangra beat.

We sat patiently, even spying an uncle who fell asleep during the long ceremonies, eventually getting some marigold petals ready to throw as the bride and groom made their traditional 7 rounds around the sacred fire. This is there in almost all Indian weddings as well, and we watched the tieing of the manglasutra, and the donning of kumkum in bright crimson red on the bride's forehead. A true sign of a married woman. My heart was swelled with happy emotions, elating in the revelry, traditions much older than my own country, and a sense of pride in myself for having made the journey to witness something so sacred.

The work wasn't all over for the bride and groom, however, they had more rituals to finish but the remaining friends and family returned home. I noted that it was about 5am. Definitely time to rest up.