Welcome back to our regularly scheduled blog post, with its host, yours truly, feeling better and much more hydrated after figuring out the super scary leg swelling episode of death is seemingly just related to being dehydrated. I've never had puffiness like this before but hey, what a fine way to wake up, feeling great!
Upon waking I had a fruit that was grown in Ravi's house called sitapal (sugar apple) which I had as a nice little snack before I showered and got ready for the day
Happy Diwali! What a wonderful feeling. I can sense the joy and electricity in the air and after having a refreshing bath I met my surrogate family for breakfast in which they served some of the most delicious vada I've had the opportunity to taste with a nut based chutney and now a spicy tomato chutney. Each bite was met with a crispy exterior of fried besan (flour type) with the soft sumptuous flavor of the dough inside with its mixture of spices. Accompanying these doughnut shaped delicacies is some ghee rice. Carb alert! My carb intake has spiked exponentially but its just for a few weeks, so might as well enjoy!
After having a belly full of food it was time to venture out to do some serious shopping.
We piled into the car with Ravi's mom and dad (my Aatma & Mamaya), and two sisters. It was a little bit of a longer drive. I still have no sense of direction as we navigate the city, only knowing where I am near someplace familiar by landmarks. Some of the shops have funny names like 'Crazy Men Fashion" and "Big C, you can't resist temptation" which that last one is apparently a mobile phone store.
We reach a jeweler's shop that is small compared to the grand mall like one's I've seen closer to my home. The gentlemen inside seem to know Ravi's mom. If I understood correctly she has been shopping here for some time. The way most of the shopping goes is my family-to-be sits down and starts asking for things which get displayed in front of me. Then someone usually realizes there's some language barrier and will ask me do you like this? Its for (insert event here). Usually I have some idea in advance of what I'm shopping for, but they will explain its meaning a little bit and more about recent fashions versus traditions. It's educational! We started looking at a mandatory necklace for the wedding called kasulaperu, which I've linked to a random google search store that will give you some idea what these look like. The other necklace that is okay to wear, or sometimes combined with this is called temple jewely.
So after looking at 5 or 6 designs a beautiful temple necklace with matching earrings came with a unique red finish to it (so I learned 22k gold can take on the look of what color you polish it with so it can have a hint of black, red, or just be very yellow) I try it on and something clicks. It's a little unique, and Ravi tells me, "don't worry if you like this kind, we can take kasulaperu next year or some other time but this one looks really good." I feel so happy that this is how I feel too and a lot of my decisions, though they are mine, are also in similar taste with his family too.
As we think about settling on this temple necklace, I also start checking out gold chains to wear the mangalsutra in the marriage ceremony. I'm still a little unclear on how this works. I think It's about having 1 "coin" and having another joined when Ravi will tie it on my neck. I will find out soon enough. Ravi's mom had the men at the store take a picture of hers and has ordered a similar design, which seems to be the tradition, to carry on the similar design from generation to generation. I feel honored to be bestowed with the responsibility of such a tradition.
As this is going on, a man from the store shows up with a new selection of items. Ravi explained to me that they have a network with the other stores and can show up with new models to try to tempt you into buying more or changing your mind. The way everyone whispers and goes back in forth in negotiation and such really reminds me of what it was like sitting with my parents in America as they were buying a car. There would be some initial viewing knowing in the back of your mind what you want, a dance between customer and salesman; no perhaps a swordfight. Each offer, counter offer, and escalation taking a jab at each other going back and forth.
Eventually all was said and done and everyone seemed pleased. This was such a serious affair but I was able to sneak a picture. This might easily be about $200,000 USD in jewelry. The bottom right diamond with ruby was $16,000 when we asked. It's mind boggling how many stores like this one, and even bigger, completely dot the landscape wherever you go, almost the way Starbucks is in America. Buying gold is so ingrained to the culture here and part of important rituals and auspiscious times that I see an economy built on such practices and for better or for worse its a big driver here.
After spending a little over our budget, and me experiencing the shock and awe of buying gold, we went out to eat to fill our tummies after working so hard. We went to Hotel Grand Swagath. Many of the hotels and restaurants here are combined. Ravi tells me that eating out wasn't a very common thing and the way to do it was to go to these hotels who also have restaurants and takeaways. I have only seen a few stand alone restaurants not coupled with a hotel here which explains why people call restaurants hotels back in America.
It was interesting being served as we ordered szechuan fried rice, paneer tikka masala, dal, roti, rice.. Everyone was eating with their hands and I was eating with a fork like a tacky American simply because I usually do this at a restaurant. In Seattle I eat with my hands at an Indian restaurant but this seemed so, not like that so I felt a little embarassed inside but really enjoyed the paneer. Somehow that curry was so rich it almost had a bacon like taste. I was impressed by vegetarian food and that doesn't happen often. One thing to note that was a little different from restaurants back in the US is that at the end of a meal a nice little rinse of water for cleaning your hands is brought in a bowl.
After our meal we joined up with Ravi's sisters and nieces at APR Gardens where our marriage function will take place. We got to check out the large outdoor area where the decorations and main event will be held. It was very grand and has a nice indoor space to the right of the main area for the food and on the left hand side there are rooms for the bridal party to get ready in. The rooms on the top floor seemed much better than the ground floor. The ground floor room smelled a little like mildew and urine. At least they have western restrooms so its easier to get ready, we will manage! Overall I think its actually going to be beautiful and amazing and everything you want your wedding to be, this was just seeing the backbone that will jump to life with decorations and people and food and such.
That evening we switched cars so I went with the girls gang somewhere out far near the airport to a ladies house who is a tailor and good friends with Ravi's sister. Her house is very grand on the bottom floor with large wooden doors and brass handles. Its surrounded by a gate which, as we were trying to get our measurements taken for our saree blouses, a monkey was running around. Deekshita and Nandini were having fun laughing at seeing it running around. After my measurements I needed to stretch my legs after sitting through so much shopping and eating so we took a quick walk around the house. The young girls and I were on the dusty road seeing kids play with fireworks of all types. Sparklers, firecrackers, even the ones that shoot up into the sky. Its amazing - in America you need a pyrotechnics license for those and they are banned in many places. Here you might see a 5 year old playing with them. As I was taking in my surroundings a big pig ran by us rushing into the bushes looking for something tasty to eat. It's complete sensory overload with bangs and booms, smells and sounds, and rainbows of color from shopping and stitching.
After all of the girls got the services they needed we returned home, stopping at a bus depot where we picked up Ravi. He had bags and bags full of fireworks that we would be lighting off at my house. He picked them up at a wholesale place. We drove back to my surrogate home with so many crackers (Indianism for fireworks) bursting in the air, on the ground, inbetween cars and bikes, and everywhere inbetween.
After taking care of some urgent business and reminding Ravi that its important to prioritize our shopping and other work around restroom availability; India is not very convenient for ladies, so you either get dehydrated with scary puffy ankles, or drink a lot and need to find stores and shops or return home between trips to.. you know.
We went downstairs with bags of fire works. I can be jumpy around loud noises and the ones we had were LOUD so I happened to have my earplugs that I wear when I'm in nightclubs with me so I wore those and actually had a fan-freaking-tastic time. All of the houses had lit diyas (oil burning pots usually made out of clay) and as the bright lights burned all around the city, we lit off fountains, and crackers, and ones that spun, even one that spun and jumped up and exploded at our friends. The boys were lighting crackers and throwing them near each other, the girls were using sparklers to light off the other fireworks.
Upon waking I had a fruit that was grown in Ravi's house called sitapal (sugar apple) which I had as a nice little snack before I showered and got ready for the day
Happy Diwali! What a wonderful feeling. I can sense the joy and electricity in the air and after having a refreshing bath I met my surrogate family for breakfast in which they served some of the most delicious vada I've had the opportunity to taste with a nut based chutney and now a spicy tomato chutney. Each bite was met with a crispy exterior of fried besan (flour type) with the soft sumptuous flavor of the dough inside with its mixture of spices. Accompanying these doughnut shaped delicacies is some ghee rice. Carb alert! My carb intake has spiked exponentially but its just for a few weeks, so might as well enjoy!
After having a belly full of food it was time to venture out to do some serious shopping.
We piled into the car with Ravi's mom and dad (my Aatma & Mamaya), and two sisters. It was a little bit of a longer drive. I still have no sense of direction as we navigate the city, only knowing where I am near someplace familiar by landmarks. Some of the shops have funny names like 'Crazy Men Fashion" and "Big C, you can't resist temptation" which that last one is apparently a mobile phone store.
We reach a jeweler's shop that is small compared to the grand mall like one's I've seen closer to my home. The gentlemen inside seem to know Ravi's mom. If I understood correctly she has been shopping here for some time. The way most of the shopping goes is my family-to-be sits down and starts asking for things which get displayed in front of me. Then someone usually realizes there's some language barrier and will ask me do you like this? Its for (insert event here). Usually I have some idea in advance of what I'm shopping for, but they will explain its meaning a little bit and more about recent fashions versus traditions. It's educational! We started looking at a mandatory necklace for the wedding called kasulaperu, which I've linked to a random google search store that will give you some idea what these look like. The other necklace that is okay to wear, or sometimes combined with this is called temple jewely.
So after looking at 5 or 6 designs a beautiful temple necklace with matching earrings came with a unique red finish to it (so I learned 22k gold can take on the look of what color you polish it with so it can have a hint of black, red, or just be very yellow) I try it on and something clicks. It's a little unique, and Ravi tells me, "don't worry if you like this kind, we can take kasulaperu next year or some other time but this one looks really good." I feel so happy that this is how I feel too and a lot of my decisions, though they are mine, are also in similar taste with his family too.
As we think about settling on this temple necklace, I also start checking out gold chains to wear the mangalsutra in the marriage ceremony. I'm still a little unclear on how this works. I think It's about having 1 "coin" and having another joined when Ravi will tie it on my neck. I will find out soon enough. Ravi's mom had the men at the store take a picture of hers and has ordered a similar design, which seems to be the tradition, to carry on the similar design from generation to generation. I feel honored to be bestowed with the responsibility of such a tradition.
As this is going on, a man from the store shows up with a new selection of items. Ravi explained to me that they have a network with the other stores and can show up with new models to try to tempt you into buying more or changing your mind. The way everyone whispers and goes back in forth in negotiation and such really reminds me of what it was like sitting with my parents in America as they were buying a car. There would be some initial viewing knowing in the back of your mind what you want, a dance between customer and salesman; no perhaps a swordfight. Each offer, counter offer, and escalation taking a jab at each other going back and forth.
Eventually all was said and done and everyone seemed pleased. This was such a serious affair but I was able to sneak a picture. This might easily be about $200,000 USD in jewelry. The bottom right diamond with ruby was $16,000 when we asked. It's mind boggling how many stores like this one, and even bigger, completely dot the landscape wherever you go, almost the way Starbucks is in America. Buying gold is so ingrained to the culture here and part of important rituals and auspiscious times that I see an economy built on such practices and for better or for worse its a big driver here.
After spending a little over our budget, and me experiencing the shock and awe of buying gold, we went out to eat to fill our tummies after working so hard. We went to Hotel Grand Swagath. Many of the hotels and restaurants here are combined. Ravi tells me that eating out wasn't a very common thing and the way to do it was to go to these hotels who also have restaurants and takeaways. I have only seen a few stand alone restaurants not coupled with a hotel here which explains why people call restaurants hotels back in America.
It was interesting being served as we ordered szechuan fried rice, paneer tikka masala, dal, roti, rice.. Everyone was eating with their hands and I was eating with a fork like a tacky American simply because I usually do this at a restaurant. In Seattle I eat with my hands at an Indian restaurant but this seemed so, not like that so I felt a little embarassed inside but really enjoyed the paneer. Somehow that curry was so rich it almost had a bacon like taste. I was impressed by vegetarian food and that doesn't happen often. One thing to note that was a little different from restaurants back in the US is that at the end of a meal a nice little rinse of water for cleaning your hands is brought in a bowl.
After our meal we joined up with Ravi's sisters and nieces at APR Gardens where our marriage function will take place. We got to check out the large outdoor area where the decorations and main event will be held. It was very grand and has a nice indoor space to the right of the main area for the food and on the left hand side there are rooms for the bridal party to get ready in. The rooms on the top floor seemed much better than the ground floor. The ground floor room smelled a little like mildew and urine. At least they have western restrooms so its easier to get ready, we will manage! Overall I think its actually going to be beautiful and amazing and everything you want your wedding to be, this was just seeing the backbone that will jump to life with decorations and people and food and such.
That evening we switched cars so I went with the girls gang somewhere out far near the airport to a ladies house who is a tailor and good friends with Ravi's sister. Her house is very grand on the bottom floor with large wooden doors and brass handles. Its surrounded by a gate which, as we were trying to get our measurements taken for our saree blouses, a monkey was running around. Deekshita and Nandini were having fun laughing at seeing it running around. After my measurements I needed to stretch my legs after sitting through so much shopping and eating so we took a quick walk around the house. The young girls and I were on the dusty road seeing kids play with fireworks of all types. Sparklers, firecrackers, even the ones that shoot up into the sky. Its amazing - in America you need a pyrotechnics license for those and they are banned in many places. Here you might see a 5 year old playing with them. As I was taking in my surroundings a big pig ran by us rushing into the bushes looking for something tasty to eat. It's complete sensory overload with bangs and booms, smells and sounds, and rainbows of color from shopping and stitching.
After all of the girls got the services they needed we returned home, stopping at a bus depot where we picked up Ravi. He had bags and bags full of fireworks that we would be lighting off at my house. He picked them up at a wholesale place. We drove back to my surrogate home with so many crackers (Indianism for fireworks) bursting in the air, on the ground, inbetween cars and bikes, and everywhere inbetween.
After taking care of some urgent business and reminding Ravi that its important to prioritize our shopping and other work around restroom availability; India is not very convenient for ladies, so you either get dehydrated with scary puffy ankles, or drink a lot and need to find stores and shops or return home between trips to.. you know.
We went downstairs with bags of fire works. I can be jumpy around loud noises and the ones we had were LOUD so I happened to have my earplugs that I wear when I'm in nightclubs with me so I wore those and actually had a fan-freaking-tastic time. All of the houses had lit diyas (oil burning pots usually made out of clay) and as the bright lights burned all around the city, we lit off fountains, and crackers, and ones that spun, even one that spun and jumped up and exploded at our friends. The boys were lighting crackers and throwing them near each other, the girls were using sparklers to light off the other fireworks.
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