Unfortunately blogging always has a challenge of being appealing only when in the mood to write. Sometimes I'm busy doing other things, sometimes I'm not. I'm so glad I recorded my thoughts when I was in India to be able to continue to share them, even if at a snail's pace.
The day started with getting picked up by a van full of friends, some I've met in the US and some I've made here. We six went to the home of a mutual friend who was unable to make the trip back to India to attend the wedding. Her parents had set out this amazing spread of food and sweets and biscuits and had a really beautiful home. We sat down to lunch and they setup a webcam to talk their daughter who was in Seattle. It was nice to have everyone together and see how jovial and lighthearted they are. I rarely get moments like these because I don't usually get to go do things with a large group of friends. Usually it's small 3 maybe 4 people dinners but a trip to India and meeting people I know and hanging out was just way cool.
We ate as much as we could for lunch and drank just as much paani (water) as the filter here was really good and the water tasted great. Some of the guys even took a few bottles to go. We also got to talk to the daughter after eating and she shared the laptop around on video chat to show her friends and roommates who were also there and knew some of us. I didn't really know them but they gave an introduction. It was nice.
It was a beautiful warm sunny day out so after coming back to the grooms house with more sangeet happening we left for some last minute shopping. We found a tailor to do a very fast alteration on my suit. the top needed to be let out and he agreed to do it for rs 20. that's leas than 50 cents in USD!! incredible! We headed to Bhootnath market where some needed nagra type shoes (the tip is curled) and I wanted some bangles to wear with my Salwar. One of the ladies we were with jumped into a jewelry store guarded by a man with a large automatic weapon and I saw some anklets that were beautiful and I'm told this kind you'll only get in Lucknow. They are silver and sold by weight. I picked up a pair similar to my friends for rs 1700. Not bad for a type of jewelry you'll not find anywhere in the US. Speaking of things famous in Lucknow, it's known for tandoori chicken kabob and also Chikan fabrics. Chikan suits are hand made embroidered suits you can pick out and then have stitched accordingly to your size. I would love to get something like this for my mom but I'm not sure she would like the style. I think I'll have to look for some kind of kurta every day wear type thing.
I tried some street snack that was like a mixture of rice crispy cereal and salsa and it was actually pretty good (in hindsight this is bhel puri and some of my favorite chaat). In this market I saw so many pretty dresses for sale, lots of stalls selling knick knacks and some hawking religious things as well. There's sweets for sale and even fireworks. There was a flower stall as well that one of the girls picked to bring for the wedding and while we were waiting for the arrangement to be done there were street urchins begging us. We kept telling them no and finally someone bought them some fruit. I saw them picking through the bags but not eating. When I glanced again they were gone. I suspect these two commonly work at this market for some boss. If I was starving and begging for food and someone gave it I would be eating it then and there not running off.
From our group one of the girls picked a sari to wear with one of the guys getting his shoes. In the meantime a stall made a set of bangles for me that are beautiful red and green with white stones as well. They will match a few things I have to wear and they looked amazing with the mehendi on my arm. With a little trouble getting my American plastic to work in ATMs in India we haggled and begged. "Uncleji please let us have for this lower price, please." I really was always getting charged high prices just based on the color of my skin and hair.
We ran a little short on time so we had to go back and get ready for our friends big day! We picked up my altered suit which fit perfect and I grabbed a Thums Up on the way out, I love it's taste and we reached back and started to freshen up.
Right before all of the ceremonies were about to begin, someone brought a small brown bag to the groom's house. A few of us secretly stepped outside the Brahmin home to eat the most amazing Indian KFC chicken. I dream of how it tastes. I felt like a shady criminal, doing something untoward in an alley outside the home. In reality I was simply eating meat outside of the home to show respect to the family and it's beliefs who live there.
When we came back inside after eating and found the groom to have some thatched palm tied to his head, being walked down and a candle lit in the streets. I'm not sure what the word is for this but it had to be some form of pooja to help him on his journey to a blessed married life. We also watched as he was then dressed in a wedding form of dhoti and two men tightly wrapped a turban around his head.
We again came downstairs to see a beautiful horse. The groom would then mount the horse as we became the baraat, dancing our way between him atop the horse and a bus with a DJ playing bollywood and bhangra songs. We danced in the street, cordoned off by men carrying large pillars on their heads with rope lights keeping us safe from the traffic in the road we were sharing.
Street urchins dashed in and out hoping to pick up some spare coin from the elder folks swirling rs 100 notes (And more) above the dancers heads to bless them for a very good dance performance. They eventually disturbed us they got yelled at and kicked out of the baraat by my friend's uncle. It was sad and funny at the same time.
We eventually arrived at small hall where there was some small food, I think another ceremony was performced, then we danced again to the main wedding hall. This was as large as a football field, almost. As we came in we were greeted by all of the people from the bride's side of the family and inside there was a stage area, another area nearby with a fire burning, vendors lining the entire place with wedding food (pav bhaji, paani puri, hakka noodles, vegetarian, ice cream, sweets, you name it) mocktails, and even a paan & hookah stall.
We came in, roamed around, took photos, ate. I was approached by some brave desis who had some grasp on English and were eager to talk to me. I felt under the impression that an American coming so far for a wedding in Lucknow was not only memorable but I seemed like a celebrity. I also felt the stares from the thousand or so pair of eyes on me.
When the bride and groom were ready they walked out onto this small raised stage, holding large garlands (traditionally made from flowers which a game is played to 'catch' the other person) and everyone went wild as they placed the garlands on each other. A staple of nearly any Indian marriage (smaller customs vary not just on state but regionally, India is host to hundreds of cultures) This is one part of the ceremony done.
The bride and groom then sat and we joined them for dinner and drinks and guests came and gave their congrats. After a time, the people who came just for the food filtered out and we approached the mandap by the stage. As guests came in, we removed our shoes to sit near the bridge and groom for the coming rituals (Again a temple like respect is given so removing shoes is important) and a game of hiding the grooms shoe's began as the friends and family delighted in this childish game. Even to some of the Indians, the pandit who was beginning some chanting couldn't understand what he said, but its a very lengthy ritual. Sometimes the women were singing or drumming on a dholki, even I tried my hand at it and got some impressed looks as I tapped out what I thought was a bhangra beat.
We sat patiently, even spying an uncle who fell asleep during the long ceremonies, eventually getting some marigold petals ready to throw as the bride and groom made their traditional 7 rounds around the sacred fire. This is there in almost all Indian weddings as well, and we watched the tieing of the manglasutra, and the donning of kumkum in bright crimson red on the bride's forehead. A true sign of a married woman. My heart was swelled with happy emotions, elating in the revelry, traditions much older than my own country, and a sense of pride in myself for having made the journey to witness something so sacred.
The work wasn't all over for the bride and groom, however, they had more rituals to finish but the remaining friends and family returned home. I noted that it was about 5am. Definitely time to rest up.
The day started with getting picked up by a van full of friends, some I've met in the US and some I've made here. We six went to the home of a mutual friend who was unable to make the trip back to India to attend the wedding. Her parents had set out this amazing spread of food and sweets and biscuits and had a really beautiful home. We sat down to lunch and they setup a webcam to talk their daughter who was in Seattle. It was nice to have everyone together and see how jovial and lighthearted they are. I rarely get moments like these because I don't usually get to go do things with a large group of friends. Usually it's small 3 maybe 4 people dinners but a trip to India and meeting people I know and hanging out was just way cool.
We ate as much as we could for lunch and drank just as much paani (water) as the filter here was really good and the water tasted great. Some of the guys even took a few bottles to go. We also got to talk to the daughter after eating and she shared the laptop around on video chat to show her friends and roommates who were also there and knew some of us. I didn't really know them but they gave an introduction. It was nice.
It was a beautiful warm sunny day out so after coming back to the grooms house with more sangeet happening we left for some last minute shopping. We found a tailor to do a very fast alteration on my suit. the top needed to be let out and he agreed to do it for rs 20. that's leas than 50 cents in USD!! incredible! We headed to Bhootnath market where some needed nagra type shoes (the tip is curled) and I wanted some bangles to wear with my Salwar. One of the ladies we were with jumped into a jewelry store guarded by a man with a large automatic weapon and I saw some anklets that were beautiful and I'm told this kind you'll only get in Lucknow. They are silver and sold by weight. I picked up a pair similar to my friends for rs 1700. Not bad for a type of jewelry you'll not find anywhere in the US. Speaking of things famous in Lucknow, it's known for tandoori chicken kabob and also Chikan fabrics. Chikan suits are hand made embroidered suits you can pick out and then have stitched accordingly to your size. I would love to get something like this for my mom but I'm not sure she would like the style. I think I'll have to look for some kind of kurta every day wear type thing.
I tried some street snack that was like a mixture of rice crispy cereal and salsa and it was actually pretty good (in hindsight this is bhel puri and some of my favorite chaat). In this market I saw so many pretty dresses for sale, lots of stalls selling knick knacks and some hawking religious things as well. There's sweets for sale and even fireworks. There was a flower stall as well that one of the girls picked to bring for the wedding and while we were waiting for the arrangement to be done there were street urchins begging us. We kept telling them no and finally someone bought them some fruit. I saw them picking through the bags but not eating. When I glanced again they were gone. I suspect these two commonly work at this market for some boss. If I was starving and begging for food and someone gave it I would be eating it then and there not running off.
From our group one of the girls picked a sari to wear with one of the guys getting his shoes. In the meantime a stall made a set of bangles for me that are beautiful red and green with white stones as well. They will match a few things I have to wear and they looked amazing with the mehendi on my arm. With a little trouble getting my American plastic to work in ATMs in India we haggled and begged. "Uncleji please let us have for this lower price, please." I really was always getting charged high prices just based on the color of my skin and hair.
We ran a little short on time so we had to go back and get ready for our friends big day! We picked up my altered suit which fit perfect and I grabbed a Thums Up on the way out, I love it's taste and we reached back and started to freshen up.
Right before all of the ceremonies were about to begin, someone brought a small brown bag to the groom's house. A few of us secretly stepped outside the Brahmin home to eat the most amazing Indian KFC chicken. I dream of how it tastes. I felt like a shady criminal, doing something untoward in an alley outside the home. In reality I was simply eating meat outside of the home to show respect to the family and it's beliefs who live there.
When we came back inside after eating and found the groom to have some thatched palm tied to his head, being walked down and a candle lit in the streets. I'm not sure what the word is for this but it had to be some form of pooja to help him on his journey to a blessed married life. We also watched as he was then dressed in a wedding form of dhoti and two men tightly wrapped a turban around his head.
We again came downstairs to see a beautiful horse. The groom would then mount the horse as we became the baraat, dancing our way between him atop the horse and a bus with a DJ playing bollywood and bhangra songs. We danced in the street, cordoned off by men carrying large pillars on their heads with rope lights keeping us safe from the traffic in the road we were sharing.
Street urchins dashed in and out hoping to pick up some spare coin from the elder folks swirling rs 100 notes (And more) above the dancers heads to bless them for a very good dance performance. They eventually disturbed us they got yelled at and kicked out of the baraat by my friend's uncle. It was sad and funny at the same time.
We eventually arrived at small hall where there was some small food, I think another ceremony was performced, then we danced again to the main wedding hall. This was as large as a football field, almost. As we came in we were greeted by all of the people from the bride's side of the family and inside there was a stage area, another area nearby with a fire burning, vendors lining the entire place with wedding food (pav bhaji, paani puri, hakka noodles, vegetarian, ice cream, sweets, you name it) mocktails, and even a paan & hookah stall.
We came in, roamed around, took photos, ate. I was approached by some brave desis who had some grasp on English and were eager to talk to me. I felt under the impression that an American coming so far for a wedding in Lucknow was not only memorable but I seemed like a celebrity. I also felt the stares from the thousand or so pair of eyes on me.
When the bride and groom were ready they walked out onto this small raised stage, holding large garlands (traditionally made from flowers which a game is played to 'catch' the other person) and everyone went wild as they placed the garlands on each other. A staple of nearly any Indian marriage (smaller customs vary not just on state but regionally, India is host to hundreds of cultures) This is one part of the ceremony done.
The bride and groom then sat and we joined them for dinner and drinks and guests came and gave their congrats. After a time, the people who came just for the food filtered out and we approached the mandap by the stage. As guests came in, we removed our shoes to sit near the bridge and groom for the coming rituals (Again a temple like respect is given so removing shoes is important) and a game of hiding the grooms shoe's began as the friends and family delighted in this childish game. Even to some of the Indians, the pandit who was beginning some chanting couldn't understand what he said, but its a very lengthy ritual. Sometimes the women were singing or drumming on a dholki, even I tried my hand at it and got some impressed looks as I tapped out what I thought was a bhangra beat.
We sat patiently, even spying an uncle who fell asleep during the long ceremonies, eventually getting some marigold petals ready to throw as the bride and groom made their traditional 7 rounds around the sacred fire. This is there in almost all Indian weddings as well, and we watched the tieing of the manglasutra, and the donning of kumkum in bright crimson red on the bride's forehead. A true sign of a married woman. My heart was swelled with happy emotions, elating in the revelry, traditions much older than my own country, and a sense of pride in myself for having made the journey to witness something so sacred.
The work wasn't all over for the bride and groom, however, they had more rituals to finish but the remaining friends and family returned home. I noted that it was about 5am. Definitely time to rest up.
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