Day 4 - Headed to Lucknow!

The morning of day 4 was a little hectic as I had to pack and meet my friend for breakfast, rush up to the metro line that goes to the airport, and then to fly to Lucknow. It's not easy getting two people 1 suitcase and 2 bags into an auto rickshaw!




Breakfast consisted of what I would describe as masala French toast (I think I would try making this at home) and some sweet stuff like oatmeal but more mashed up. I liked it a lot but I'm not sure if I ate it everyday if it would become boon or bane to my waistline.




The whole time I have been in India so far people stare at me since I am a foreigner and my skin and hair are fair. I know I stand out. I just try to act normal and it's easier to do at an airport where people are used to foriegners. Upon reaching Indira Ghandi International I saw the whole airport in the daytime clearly, not in a jet lagged sleep deprived daze. The sun was shining and the dust that covers this region blanketed everything and created an ever looming haze outside. I think this is a mixture of dust that comes from the region and leftover smog. The city has changed it's public transportation away from oil products so air quality has improved somewhat from a few years ago from what I'm told.




I walked around the terminal and it's shops for time pass (how you pass time when bored) and saw some masala dosa place and some Mughlai cuisine as well. I avoided them as my flight was only an hour and I didn't want to spend on food when I just had breakfast. The smell of the non veg on the grill was tempting though.




I wandered into a magazine shop that had some books and DVDs as well. It was a little odd because right next to the cool Bollywood stuff was a section containing Playboy and other, erm, adult themed items.

I picked up Forbes magazine with a shiny silver cover featuring Shah Rukh Khan. This edition is talking about how Indian celebrities have made and sustained their fortunes. I also grabbed Filmfare so I could jam my brain with useless Bollywood gossip and look at photos of the likes of John Abraham and Saif Ali Khan while I waited for my flight.




While sitting in the terminal none other but a very likely American and most definitely a nerd walked by with thick glasses curly hair and a very fat travel book that simply said "India." I felt bad that he was likely being overcharged on everything! I really felt even just being here with a friend is by far a better experience than being a complete foriegner and not having a more personal connection with the place of visit.




Finally I boarded my flight, still a little frustrated I had to pay for some baggage overage, but took my front row window seat and settled in to watch the land roll by for the next hour. I really enjoyed seeing temples and other tall buildings that rose from the land and want to spend time with Google earth later on when I'm back in the USA to learn what I saw.




Finally I touched down, got my luggage and saw another friend waiting to greet me at the gate. I haven't smiled so big in a while!! This friend is about to get married in a few days and it will be in a most grand style. He has a driver who works for his family who took us from the airport to where his dad works at a botanical research guest house. It was roughly and hour ride and I noticed Lucknow is much less densely crowded than Delhi and seems more affluent as well. While still crowded and chaotic it was only half that of Delhi! My friend told me this is mostly due to this having always been a place where kings and queens and royalty would visit from the British.




I greeted my friend's father and while he speaks English I think he is a quiet person normally and more so being shy not knowing what to do or say to this gori. He was so incredibly kind, however. He let me stay in his guest house for an evening while there is a whole crew at his house preparing renovations and work for the wedding. I freshened up and put on a Salwar kameez (kind of an indian ladies suit) to properly meet my friends family. I wanted to make them feel comfortable as much as possible especially since my friend's mom doesn't speak English.




Before visiting his house and family we ran some errands. I got to see inside of a very large bank, and while it was a little boring waiting on all the finances for the wedding to be done, it was a very curious experience seeing and listening to how a bank here is compared to one from the West. Afterward I got to see the area and house my friend has grown up in. He was pointing out where he and his friends would meet to just chit chat and enjoy some food for a short while and also where he went to school. If I had spent roughly 20-25 years in this area I think I would feel happy and fond to be home. I am looking forward to meeting his fiancée, I think she'll be perfect for him. They have known each other for sometime and he works in the tech industry and dresses very well, while she is a fashion designer. Hoho, truly a match made in heaven and they even look like they belong together!




I felt shy reaching his house. It is a tall 3 story one that's white with orange accents. He introduced me to his mom and I bowed and put my hands together and said, "Namaste." She gave her blessing to me putting a red substance called tikka on my forehead and some rice. Ill have to ask more of the meaning behind this tradition. Then she fed me a sweet and invited me in. I met many aunts uncles and cousins and a maid. We talked for some time as some of the elders were asking questions and my friend patiently translated. The whole time we were treated to tea and snacks and then a dinner of paranthas and sabji with some veg curry. It was delicious! I was impressed by the hospitality and had no idea how much I was about to bond with this family. They were a little impressed I could speak a little bit of Hindi- and over the next several days my skill would increase a little also!




We then left and went for some shopping so I would have something to wear for the wedding. We went to this shop that had the most amazing clothes- I wanted to buy so many things but still haven't fixed my situation with money yet. Still working on that! I later found out that this shop was in a place called Bootnath Market. I could definitely go for shopping here on the weekends if I lived nearby!




I picked out a red one that is a little tight they will need to alter it, I suspect it's not too much trouble. At least it shouldn't be expensive even if the dress was a little bit.




Afterwards we returned back to the guesthouse where I stayed the night. There I met Piyush's uncle and he was very friendly. Curious and bold about this gori. He seemed like an uncle from a college like a professor type. I recognized the longtime Lucknow accent when he spoke as it reminded me of some coworkers from AT&T.




The hospitality is too generous and a little suffocating. I've ended up with a room full of snacks sweets fruits and an unfortunate bottle of expired orange juice. I'd really enjoy an orange juice right now. I didn't mind though, I had a place where I could sleep peacefully- and also watch Bollywood songs on UTVStars channel on the TV. I also, thank the heavens, had hot water and a western toilet!

Photos from India!

Here's a nice little slideshow of my travels in India. This set does not include the wedding photos. I'll have a separate post for them.

Day 3

Today I was supposed to go to Agra to see the Taj Mahal. I found out the phone I got wasn't charging and still didn't have wifi or money. It took quite some time in the morning to get a new charger, realize the bank had blocked my ATM card because of charges in Dubai, and I had to borrow my friends phone to figure all this stuff out.


I needed to have a way to communicate throughout my time here so I spent time fixing all of these things and it was 11 am by the time I got a new charger, borrowed a phone to send an email and figured out options to wire money.


I had cholay bhature for breakfast at the hotel at then met up with my friend to at least get to see some really cool parts of Delhi since we would have reached the Taj with only an hour left to visit. Ill try to see it from Lucknow or on last few days of my trip.


The morning smells as I had walked out of the hotel were a cacaphony of firewood burning, animal piss, food cooking, fresh fruit from the carts and sizzling dishes of what the street vendors were making. In a way I was getting used to this smell or almost looking forward to it since it always had something interesting and different. I thought maybe my sense of smell would be keen enough to know exactly where fresh rotis were being cooked.


The sun rising played nicely on the dust that always exists like a blanket on the city and I snapped some pictures while running errands. While getting the phone charger fixed a very lean aunty (an Indian woman approximately your mother's age, like addressing a woman as "Mrs.") approached me asking for food. She appeared genuine, but you never know. It's heartbreaking but I cant fix everyone's problems here and I again don't know if she's truly begging or working for someone. I had to ignore her as I didn't even have spare change myself at this point. My day would be sponsored by my friend.


The first place he took me was through the metro system to Indraprastha and we took an auto a few miles away to the memorial park where Gandhi's funeral pyre was.


Here there are carefully manicured lawns similar to near India gate and parliament buildings. There's a ramp that goes up in the center of the field and let's you look down at the memorial area, or you can take off your shoes and go to the center and pay your respects.


A local school had taken a field trip here so as I walked upwards on the ramp I was greeted by a hundred smiling and curious faces. Teachers with bamboo sticks were shoeing the boys out of the bushes and onto the proper places on the lawn. Green parrots were flying overhead in and out of the nearby trees. I could look down and feel the gravity of one of the most well known men in the world where there was a small pool where the pyre would have been and again a flame that burns and will never go out to honor Gandhi It seemed like a place locals trek to but I also spotted a Sardar (Sardar is also colloquially used to refer to adult male followers of the religion of Sikhism) with a tour group following him with a mix of foriegners.


Afterwards we went towards old Delhi where there was a large mosque called Jama Masjid and some semi famous hotel foreigners stay at. Here there seemed to be even busier markets and I saw a child going through some goods on a table and was picking up stickers of Salman Khan and a few other Bollywood actors. I wanted to stop and buy some but I hope I'll have better luck shopping in Lucknow. There was a large Muslim population where we were at so even in the heat I was wearing my jacket to avoid too many stares. It is respectful and easier if you stay covered up. Definitely keep a scarf handy for that!


We tried to enter the masjid but three guys tried to take money charging for having a camera. They seemed suspicious even to me as most monuments and places i had seen so far have clear places to buy tickets and enter. Foreigners are charged like 5x that of locals too. My guide talked to a young helpful looking desi and he recommended we go in through another gate where because I was wearing jeans they would charge me and give me a Salwar to wear. I know if I go I Agra now to wear something like this and to cover my head with a dupatta scarf too.


My friend didn't like the kind of exploitation happening here so we walked a while to catch an auto and I got to see the Sunday market happening at Chandni Chowk. People were buying new shoes socks and jeans on the street and in the traffic folks were trying to hawk suits and magazines and odd shaped balloons for kids. On the motorbike in front of us a young boy on the back of his dads bike was excited to get this large balloon as dad paid maybe 5 rs to the vendor.


The auto rickshaw took us to the area where the Red Fort, where the Mughals ruled around the 17th century. It's incredible looking at Old Delhi and this impressively large fort thinking very little has changed in the last several hundred years. Again, for tickets to the fort I had to pay like 150rs and my friend only 10 because he's Indian.


We strolled through the opening which was filled with tourists of all kinds, including a disgruntled German we saw earlier at the mosque. I don't think he liked paying the gora tax.


There are emporiums lining the entrance to the fort- places where not many people were shopping because the goods for sale like jewelry and trinkets were clearly overpriced.


Once we finished walking through this long hall it opened up into a large well maintained grounds about the size of a football stadium, maybe two. We could stand right in front of where the Mughal king would sit on his throne and make decrees and also some guesthouses and museums. It was amazing to see such a place since the US doesn't have anything that I've seen thats quite so large or old. I felt a sense of awe and wonder. Now that India has its independence it can try to benefit from the buildings it's conquerers have left behind. Even the government buildings I saw earlier had been built by the British.


I delighted in taking photos of the many interesting folks by the fort, but soon after walking so much worked up an appetite. Strangely, I've been told KFC has much better chicken here than in America. Well it's true! We took a long autorickshaw ride to a large mall called Select City Walk. As we pulled up I could see a very large, tall building, and outside there was a construction pile with a man standing at the very top, peeing. If you're a guy in India it seems you can just go wherever, and whenever you want, no one minds. I felt a little embarassed though because he was looking around and when he saw a white blonde going by in the auto his stream just cut off mid-pee. Poor dude, wasn't expecting to see me! I think place is the largest mall in Delhi and we actually did eat at KFC. They have a curry flavored fried chicken that's delicious and I hope it comes to the US very soon!


I tried to take photos in the mall but the guards were afraid I was taking videos. Security checkpoints are installed in many large public places and they mean business. I'm glad to see security a priority but its sad also that India is caught between many warring countries and factions and actually requires such security. I wonder if these measures have prevented or stopped any bad events that may have happened, or if its more reactionary.


In this mall you could find almost anything you could think of. Western stores mixed with eastern. The most beautiful designer saris and suits and lots of jewelry stores. The wedding stores were gorgeous too with mannequins with bride and groom. Since Valentine's day was right around the corner there were lots of displays all around. It seems to have taken off as a super cute popular commercial holiday here. I even saw some guys with trucks on the side of the road selling big pink fluffy bears and cheesy items. Nothing says you love your girl more than a big pink stuffed bear bought by a creepy guy on the side of the road!


I was feeling pretty jet lagged so after eating I returned to the hotel to chill out for a while since I was tired from walking around all day. After some rest we went out at night and walked around a little bit and tried to get my ATM card situation fixed. If I was feeling more energetic I would have tried to see a movie theater or go to a club, but I was pretty overwhelmed with the crowd. Delhi is just wall to wall people at any time of day or night. I also wasn't too sure what kind of attention I might attract in a club just being white. I talked to my friend and we decided to just chill out so I could get rest and be ready to get up and get to the airport to fly to Lucknow the next day.


I think the next time I travel to India I'll stay a little longer in some places and shorter in others now that I've experienced jet lag and know more of what to expect. I can budget my time better and if I am passing through Delhi I'll know where to go and where to avoid. It was really difficult I wish my friends could take more leave and spend more time with me, I'd truly have a difficult time without help negociating and knowing where anything is. Imagine being in a place where you can't read an address or street sign! Its really amazing!

Day 2 in India

I arrived at 9am or so at Indira Gandhi International Airport, got my luggage and sleepily made my way to my hotel, the White Klove. This involved taking my carry on and two suitcases via the metro with a friend who met me at the airport then stuffing us and all my things into an autorickshaw ( small yellow and green cabs that are essentially a scooter driven by a driver with a backseat that comfortably sits 2 but often whole families will pile in) when we found a driver who seemed to know where the hotel was. I can't imagine doing this alone or without speaking Hindi.

Upon arriving I was greeted with a few issues. The hotel supposedly had wifi but the entire time I stayed there I was unable to login. I also learned my ATM card was frozen from some transactions in Dubai so I wasn't able to easily get money. I also didn't use my US phone. If I wasn't planning to be reliant on my friends I would have been up the creek without a paddle.

Despite these challenges I was to overcome the next few days I thought I would relax as I met with an old friend and was in good hands. I cannot recommend enough that if you ever visit India you need a good local guide, preferably a personal friend who knows the prices and value of goods and services and is willing to stand up for you in the cases where locals will charge the "gora tax" to foreigners. In some cases my friend was being overcharged because people thought we both were foriegners.

I asked my friend to take me to see New Delhi from his perspective, not so touristy. We made our way via auto.

The air is filled with a dusty haze and there are wild street dogs laying willy nilly waiting for a scrap or for the humans to look away so they can rifle in the nearby bucket of trash. The road is littered with scraps from snacks and small packets of chewing tobacco in paan masala flavor or more nasty mix of stuff called gutkha.

The streets are lined with shops but nothing like someone raised in America can understand. There might be a building with several holes in it that might be 5 or 10 feet square. Dust covers everything and many Indians spend time sitting around or loitering by some of these places. You might see some fruit stands or drink vendors scattered about.

We went to this outside shopping district that was in a large arc that had more "proper" shops and restaurants but also a lot of street vendors. We went to a popular little eatery to get some rolls. Imagine delicious spicy tandoori chicken wrapped in a roti. It tasted somehow better than anything I had tried in the us. I'm also pretty sure it wasn't just because I was hungry. I was excited to get a 20oz bottle of Thums Up which is like coke but so much better.

After eating at the cafe we took another auto to the capitol building in Delhi where the parliament sits and where the prime minister would be. Across the way from there we saw India Gate where the names of all of the martyrs are inscribed from the country's history and a never ending flame burns in their honor.

These buildings are massive enough that you can visit one and see the others from a distance. Throughout the walk around India Gate families are scattered on the lawn, more street hawkers selling balloons and other trinkets as well as fruit and roasted corn. The desis see me in this area and stare and sometimes children or beggars approach looking at me as a walking meal ticket. I have no reassurance if I give money to one of these people if they will ever keep it or if there is a boss literally forcing them to beg. Its a very difficult social situation.

The sun was setting and we had more to see before it got too dark so I was taken to a kind of local marketplace. Incidentally "ComicCon India" was happening in the same place. Here and in the metro stations security was beefed up. I lost track of how often my bags were scanned and when there is a security check, ladies walk through a separate metal detector. I found the curteosy an inequality but from an eastern point of view this is actually necessary. Once I had stayed longer in India I came to appreciate it.

So there was a never ending throng of people (not just in the marketplace, this pretty much describes all of Delhi at any hour) and occasionally a young Indian dressed as a comic book or anime character. Wolverine was probably the best character I saw. In the back of the market there were some comics for sale, many I didn't recognize, there were some X-men and some Asterix and Obelix. I was tired and overwhelmed from my trip so I passed up the chance to buy any as I didn't have a sense of what might be good. I'll look for more in the other cities ill be visiting.

I did end up buying two purses and two nice scarves. Scarves are handy to have to cover your head in any holy place or keep the dust out of your face if going by autorickshaw.

We finally returned to the area near the hotel at night. It's the same as in the daytime with a massive amount of people traveling. Everyone driving in the street honks to let you know they are there. This is like "hey, I'm coming up behind you, or in front of you, or darting out into traffic without looking so don't hit me!" Traffic is very chaotic everywhere. There's no discernable rules of the road. The shops along the road are open till 9 or 10 at night. Without  wifi I knew I needed a working phone for some viable means of communication. I had maybe 5000rs to start thanks to a generous friend helping me out and I spent about 3000 on it to get a phone with Indian number. That's about $60 usd. I feel this is still too expensive but I would have to go kind of far at night to find a better deal. I was tired jet lagged and overwhelmed and felt like "screw it I'll need a phone." It should activate on Monday when someone is in the office to process my paperwork. My address is the hotel I stay at :) hopefully I can sell the phone to someone here or back home.

I was so exhausted I returned to the hotel for room service for dinner. Some chicken lollipop kind of appetizer chicken biryani and butter chicken. I wanted to try my favorite dishes here. The butter chicken is delicious and somehow different than in the US. Wish I could figure out why and cook it myself !

I ate a lot and catnapped for a while. Adjusting to the time difference wasn't so hard. I later got up in the night to use the toilet (here, toilet means the entire bathroom) there's a small water heater on the wall that might give like 5 minutes of hot water. I broke up my showering ritual into two parts. That night I took a shower without washing my hair. Next day washed hair. Not sure what to expect in Lucknow and elsewhere in my friends homes!

I was becoming sleepy and missing Seattle but excited as to what else I'll see in Delhi. I think I fell asleep around 8pm.

I just visited India!

Essentially I wanted to tell my rollercoaster of a story about how I've mixed with desi culture over the last few years, but that can wait because I've just returned from my very first visit to India. I'll be publishing one post per day I was there and including pictures and what not. This very first post will be a little bare bones, though, since it takes forever to travel there. So without further adieu, I give you my travel journal...



Day 1
I've spent over a full 24 hours in planes and airports and really looking forward to putting my feet on solid ground in India.

I flew Emirates to Dubai and as far as planes go it felt like luxury. It also was 14 hours spent in and out of consciousness watching Bollywood and Kollywood movies. There were some decent ones available in the flght; Student of the Year, Urumi, Vazhakku Enn 18/9, and English Vinglish.

On paper a 8-9 hour layover seemed like a fine idea and makes it easy to reach and check into my hotel in New Delhi after landing at 9am, however there were a few pluses and minuses in practice with this.

Cool stuff:
The holographic-like sheikh greeting me as I headed toward my connection in Arabic and English.

The huge amount of duty free shopping available.

The volume of foreign nationals. I lost count of how many different languages I heard being spoken and a few I couldn't identify

Also, hookahs for sale in the gift shop with shisha and if I did the math they were cheap even in the airport!

Important announcements in Arabic and English. I tried memorizing the numbers but gave up drifting in ad out of consciousness.

Not so cool stuff:
I wore jeans, a long sleeve shirt with a hood and chappals (sandals) and I was freezing cold the whole time. They don't really sell sweatshirts or blankets in the desert. My bad next time ill dress for Seattle when heading to Dubai.

Adjusting to the restroom. This is kind of a part of any national travel and wasn't so bad, but I could see where my elder less worldly relatives would likely be freaked out, or at least grossed out. Frankly speaking America is one of the few countries that doesn't promote strong ass cleaning hygiene via its methods.

Being a solo travelling white female. I would have loved to have gone out and taken a tour and seen the Burj in the middle of the night but didn't want to feel hassled without travelling companions or trusted guide.


Now I'm on a 3 hour trip to New Delhi finally and am about to have breakfast, again. The food has been great on these flights, I recommend it. Not your typical airline crap, mostly. Also I just got the little customs form you fill out declaring stuff, cool I'll fill it out soon but I'd like to eat first and get it out of the way.

It will be great going home and gaining a day. The sun set, rose, and set again and I will see it rise on this leg once more as I reach New Delhi. Excited to figure out how I'll get a phone since I left the vonage at home and if I managed the right adapter and converter for power.. Here's hoping I don't have my phone or camera charger blow! Cheers!

Introduction to Desi life at AT&T

As an ignorant southerner in a "big city", some of my first experiences were a little daunting. Starting my job as a tester at AT&T gave me a lot of firsts - my first serious career role, first time hearing Hindi/Tamil/Telugu/Kannada/Malyalam, first Indian movie, first iced over parking lot, first Indian pizza from CanAm, among many others.

I had no idea my natural curiosity would lead me down the path I was about to take. I had come to Seattle married at a very young age, with some health problems due to a medication I had taken, and everything was about to change.

My coworkers were amazing. I was initially the only American female there, except for our Manager. There was one American guy who was your typical fist pumping dude. Another was a young nearly ABCD (American Born Confused Desi) Tamilian who seemed embarrassed to be Indian unless it was convenient to be Indian. I felt some sisterhood with a young and beautiful mom from Bengaluru who was very spiritual and dealing with her daughter growing up American. I've gone drinking and dancing with a few Telugu dads who lived in the same complex and had children the same age who were just amazingly nice hospitable people. I worked under a shy conservative Tamilian as one lead, and a hysterical creative guy with hair all girls would be jealous of from AP that grew up in Chennai and on occasion would attempt to teach me about the language and cinema of Tamil Nadu.

As I grew myself as a person in this new place, and expanded my horizons beyond the tiny world I had lived in, my thoughts and feelings changed about a lot of things about myself. I somehow found myself feeling attracted to some Indians. I learned to live on my own in a city far away from my home, and somehow became very comfortable and used to being around Indians. I started going to their parties, discovering Bollywood movies, learning a little Hindi and Tamil just from people speaking it and through music. This whole process was a lot more complicated, painful, and joyful than a simple paragraph, but those details aren't the focus of this blog, just a necessary note to understand my journey.

Then Holi 2011 happened.

What attracts me to Indian culture?

One of the most common questions I get asked by people of all races and creeds is, "What made you get so involved in Indian culture?"

 It's a valid question. There are many who like the music, the food, the art, the history, but usually these people like little subsections of India and don't have some fervor or passion to delve deep into all aspects of desi life.

 When I'm having a conversation with someone its fun to explain it anecdotally, but I've been thinking about what I want to express in this blog and where to take it into 2013 so I thought the best way to start would be a multi-part introduction to myself as its writer and to analyze exactly what the recipe was in my life to go from Small Town American Girl From the South to Ecclectic Exciting Engineer in Seattle Who Promotes Bollywood Dancing and Indian Culture.

 That is quite a journey and it has provided certain challenges in my life both personal and professional. I think I want to share some of them in the future and this background I will be providing will give insight to why I feel certain ways. I speak a lot and am usually never concise. I will try to give an abridged version of the first 28 years of my life to catch up to the events which I think most strongly influenced my path.

 I grew up on a barrier island on the southwest coast of Florida. You can see where my house was here. Growing up here meant in order to visit friends, go to school, or anything on the mainland I needed to get into a boat, and then a car to go anywhere. It was always a challenge making plans to do anything. I was somewhat isolated, despite being social. In retrospect I've always had a duality in my personality, one which loves and thrives being on my own and finding ways of being creative and amusing myself, and the other which desperately loves the company and attention of others and wants to be the life of every party.

 I excelled in school and got my first personal computer at home when I was in 6th grade. Using it through high school inspired me to go to college to study computer engineering (and play copious amounts of video games). I graduated in 2008 from University of Central Florida as a computer engineer. No, really, I have proof :)

 It was difficult finding work when I graduated so in 2009 I moved to Seattle to find a job. I thought I had to go where the work was and Seattle has a very focused tech corridor since theres Microsoft, Amazon, Google, Expedia, AT&T, Samsung, Tmobile, etc. The list goes on.

 Finally my first job was working as a contractor doing software testing for AT&T. With an extreme sense of smalltown girl just made it in the big city, I was about to begin a journey not even I could have dreamed of...