April is incredibly busy!

What an exciting month. I'm working on Wicked Karma's Bollysutra dance party for the month and going with an Urban Punjabi theme. I'm working on Naach Meri Jaan, I'm reading all kinds of articles about feminism and seeing all kinds of misogyny rearing its ugly head on the Internet. I'm thinking of my family, skipping Easter and Drunkster, and so many other things, where to begin.

As much as I wanted to follow my previous social experiment up with something more concrete, it has to take a back burner, or maybe never happen. I feel like I just hopped onto a roller coaster and have just started my ascent to a very high apogee, and have little view to the rest of the track, but in a fun way! This is the part where you know your stomach is about to leap up into your mouth and you scream both with excitement and a little bit of fear, hoping that the engineers who built said roller coaster have done their jobs well and the security and maintenance team have checked everything out.

I'm producing Naach Meri Jaan (in English, Dance my Darling) which is a reality tv show. I'm doing it for Seattle. It basically is a dance talent competition with five categories; Kids solo, kids group, adult solo, adult group, and duet. I have been meticulously working on every aspect of the logistics of this and its a lot of work! They say learning to delegate is a good skill of a manager but some skills you just have and can't pass on to others. I'm also observing how my friends, volunteers, and staff work with me and am appreciating them so much.

So much of NMJ is exciting from meeting new people who I'm marketing to, pushing my creativity to new heights behind marketing and production. I was feeling very nostalgic when I went on to tour the theater we are holding the semifinal competition in. I had worked in high school one year in the drama department because I wanted to perform. My audition didn't go so well for the Sound of Music, but I got asked to help work on tech with my old friend Mike Henry (who later became a teacher at our same high school). I remember learning what a 'gel' was and having to replace them, and programming lights in the tech booth as well as playing computer games up there while people rehearsed. It all came back as I walked through Meydenbauer Center's theater. Who knew that would play a part in my life later?

I must also confess shows like these requireme sponsorships, and they are very painful things to convince people to do. It's hard asking our family and friends to borrow money, its even more difficult to ask people who are usually complete strangers for money. I'm convinced when I ask that it is indeed in their best interest and can be very persuasive as to why that is. I think society's outlook on currency just makes this an irritating process. I can only hope for myself that I tread with the utmost respect, dignity, and care for such delicate matters.

There are so many other aspects of producing this show that go into scheduling, producing promos and marketing material, videos, raw footage, uploading, forms, fields, coordination, phone calls, my month is so packed and its only just begun. Seattle's semifinals are April 26. What a fantastic journey.

Meanwhile some highlights in the media have been all the buzz about Deepika Padukone's "My Choice" video that was released by Vogue. It's for women's empowerment and feminism. However something unfortunate happened. There's a line that says something like "its my choice to decide if I want to have sex before marriage, outside of marriage, or no sex at all..." which I can logically see she is making the point that she should be able to choose what she wants to do, without losing respect, without being judged, and be treated as a man's equal.

Somehow people suddenly jump to conclusions that, "oh my god, she's saying we should all cheat on our husbands, what a stupid person!" It's as if the group of people reacting to this video in that way have completely missed out on the fact its about making choices instead of being dictated by society what to do. The irony is hilarious, but terribly sad at the same time. Indian society is also a bit behind on its ideals compared to the west so surely the same reactionaries have not thought of consensual swinging, polyamory, and the like where there are more situations than just "cheating" where sex can happen outside of marriage. Sometimes it feels like my faith in humanity dwindles... until I see some new cat video that is getting passed around on Facebook. Is this what life is right now? I have no idea how to conceptualize what it might be in a few more generations, and it has me really wondering if I have kids exactly how to raise them.

Working on a monthly dance party is normally hard work, but somehow feels like white noise compared to the extra work I've been doing, in addition to my day job. Even in that arena I am taking on new work to push my skills to their limits and grow. I still am at a loss for words to define exactly what 'urban punjabi' is except that it defines itself. It's not Bhangra. It's not Bollywood, its not Hip Hop, but really its a brilliant fusion that I think often slips under the radar. There are sounds happening in this domain that will be genre defining after a few years as it grows in popularity. I'm still a padawan learner in this, too, but what a great musical journey. I'm really excited to see how the party turns out.

I'm also a little tense. My dad is in the hospital for congestive heart failure. There has been liquid in his heart and scans are showing blood clots and some other not cool things. A few years ago he had neck surgery with a big steel rod put in place to relieve spinal pressure on his spinal cord. He had some complications and nearly died and after reading his blog about what nearly dying is like, it has been like every day is a bucket list day for me. Its teaching me to care for myself more (sometimes I get too busy to remember to eat, going hiking today reminded me I really need to see a doctor about my ankle that I sprained last year, etc) and I can only hope that breakneck pace to life is a good ethic for me and my boyfriend. He weathers it all very patiently. I don't know how he does it but he's become a pillar of support in my life I can't live without. Roller coaster.

Naach Meri Jaan Seattle

So long to shaadi.com

So the initial concept for a social experiment was sound! However, in practicality the experiment as it is will not work.

I set up my account, which was arduous to say the least. I found a nice stock photo of a girl to submit, used a google voice account (which unfortunately forwarded to my real stuff), photoshopped my driver's license, and finally was approved. In the middle of the work day. SPAM! Spam all over my email, random text messages being sent to me. I was busy with work when it happened so I didn't notice it until later.

I interact with two dev teams who are offshore in Gurgaon for part of my project and so at night I was busy with them. It wasn't until 6.30 Friday morning I woke up disturbed by text messages coming from who knows where.

I sent some rude things back and after seeing just the amount of spam, even turning everything off as much as possible, I can't handle it for the experiment's sake.

I do have to say, though, that everyone was polite. I think the majority are probably coming here to actually find a match for more than just one night, or at least there was no initial shock like some of the messages I've had on Facebook and elsewhere, so for now, I've deleted my profile. I hope they all find whoever they are searching for!

In the meantime, my knee is doing better so I got to visit Snoqualmie Falls this weekend. Didn't do the hike down to the fall but felt good to get some fresh air and walk a little bit! Still struggling with stairs a bit, but getting there!

Impromptu fashion show! Some leggings came in the mail, I found a good sale at Fred Meyer, and finally was able to try on a Lehenga I was planning to wear for Valentine's day but couldn't. Surprisingly but happy all of them got the boyfriend's appreciation too. Yay. Sometime's you can't help but enjoy that. Now just need the warmer weather to come to accompany the clothes!

Holi is well on its way to arriving soon which means colored hair, a messy car, doing a few loads of wash and a Bollywood party in a club  where we can't throw color. What a task to reinvent such an old tradition. We are going to GLOW our colors instead of throw them and have a lot of fun with glowsticks and what not! Can't wait.

More interesting thoughts when I think of them, 

Gratitude and Waiting

I don't have much of a focused theme for today's post. Just jotting down a few quick thoughts before my lunch break is up.

A week ago or so I hurt my knee. I was kneeling/crouching to put air in my tires. I was wrestling a bear. Two days later there was swelling, and I was completely unable to put weight on my right leg. I ended up going to an urgent care center and was diagnosed with bursitis. I think life wanted to poke me a little and remind me not to take anything for granted. Showering, putting on clean clothes, being pain free, not worrying about taking too much ibuprofen or tylenol are generally things we do daily and we don't think anything about it.

I spent a few mornings crying, unable to even stand up from the pain after using the restroom in the morning and it was very dehumanizing. It made me realize how much a person has, even if he hardly has anything at all. Health is truly wealth.

My boyfriend luckily took the best care of me that was possible. I was enduring the Facebook onslaught of Valentine's Day dates, dinners, flowers, chocolates, drinks, romance, proposals, and marriages. I felt supreme in having a gift that can't come in a box nor be delivered with roses. True caring and companionship on the deepest level.  I can't even take a picture of this intangible thing to post on Facebook, but its surely there since I felt it.

In the meantime I am waiting for some identity approval over at Shaadi.com to execute the previously thought out experiment. There are so many types of verifications and approvals I hope I am still able to conduct this experiment. If I am not, I will revert back to an American dating site which will surely reveal just as terrible mannerisms and behavior.

One final thought, on today which is a day that celebrates when Shiva married Parvati and they danced in the mountains, Shivaratri, I am not observing a fast. I will be eating vegetarian. I wanted to prove that I can walk in the path of a Hindu but I don't think I'm ready to take it on completely yet and doing so at a random point, might have less meaning. Do I mean to convert? Convert from what? In some schools of thought we are all born Hindu and its merely learning the poojas and practices. I was advised to study deeper into the meaning and if I felt strong enough, then do the appropriate fasting.

While I'm searching my own introspection to find out how I feel about that, I do feel very strongly against whatever sad, sadistic moron decided to defile Bothell's Hindu temple with a nazi swastika and the words "get out" .. The same person also spray painted the same to a school yesterday but it was addressed to Muslims .It is so sad to see ignorance breeding intolerance. This person clearly didn't even realize that swastiks come from Hinduism and were sadly misused by the nazis. I can only hope this person becomes educated and more matured and understanding on the matter, and hopefully more educated.

A Social Experiment is coming

One of my best friends just got married in Mumbai, and it was a very fun development to see happen. I got to see the inception of a relationship from just talking to find someone compatible to seeing beautiful emotions develop and now she's married! She always comments, "Why are girls told not to talk to boys, then to marry one and sleep with him." and its so very true. India's culture is in a strange flux where traditional values are being pushed down from elders (read as: arranged marriage) and more modern people (the young generation) are pushing back with love marriages.

One of my colleagues is currently looking to settle in the US and she is trying to find a guy and having a terrible time navigating the waters of dating. If she uses a website that is  American based she is very likely to find the majority of guys trying to sleep with her. Not all guys are like that, but from everyone I talked to, women often become victims of harassment, having men talk disrespectfully to them, sending rude or even nude photos over these sites. Now my friend is also checking shaadi.com which is known as an Indian Matrimonial site. This is a modern way to find a match (Here's another modern way with some humor) when you have decided to take the plunge into marriage, but more and more I'm told by friends people are using this for dating or sometimes even hooking up.

The harassment is something I have experienced first hand. Facebook is a large tool for promoting parties, social concepts, and one's personal brand. I get many random messages and it is very hard to know at first exactly what the person on the other end wants. Could it be an opportunity for collaboration that would advance my business, a networking contact to keep in mind for the future, an offshore resource I can rely on to help me develop more business ideas? An old time friend I met a long time ago? In order to figure this out I usually need to talk to the person and understand why they are contacting me. In the very early stages of my relationship with my boyfriend I had to explain to him why people contact me, and that it is not me soliciting this attention. A good example is when I post photos from Wicked Karma parties. If people in the photos get tagged, their friends will see their photos and often their friends are in India. There are many curious people who want to see more photos or connect with their friends etc.

The only type of message I haven't messaged yet is, of course, the unsolicited attention given by Indian men. "HELLO DEAR HOW ARE YOU" or "Your photos are so beautiful will you make friendship with me?" and many other messages that run the gamut of friendship in disguise to straight out photos of a man's penis have been sent to me. It is very disturbing that people feel that they should exercise the ability to do this, let alone think that its acceptable behavior.

I have called out many of these on my facebook page itself, but only now as society is looking to shame the men who send these awful messages have I thought about documenting the kind of bullshit that is sent to me. I think my plan is to leave Facebook to Facebook, but I'd rather like to expose the kind of lack of social skills, entitlement, and power seeking messages that arseholes send over these matrimonial sites.

I think, and with my boyfriend's blessing, I'd like to create a social experiment where I make a profile on shaadi.com, talk normally to people (I don't want to deceive honest people and need to figure out a way to avoid that) and see if any harassment is sent my way, and then publish it.

My goal by doing this is to empower people to speak out against this behavior. I recently saw one article that is calling out and shaming rapists, so I thought in a small way, we can examine the type of behavior that may be responsible for the prevailing rape culture in society, and try to disarm it by shaming the people who commit it.

When to laugh in a movie theater

There are so many awesome things I want to tell this blog, but I am waiting until the time is right. I've been in a long term relationship with a very special person, and want to shout to the world about the incredible things in our lives that should be celebrated but that right time hasn't come yet. When it does, I promise to write about the most interesting parts! In the meantime lets just say that I have an Indian Boyfriend.

So last night I sacrified sleep in exchange for watching Shankar's I, dubbed in Telugu (it was produced in Tamil) and with English subtitles with said Indian Boyfriend. It was a super movie from my perspective, but I'm not that harsh of a critic. I see entertainment as something to be consumed. Whether you are standing on the street with your hand dripping a little as you scoop a mouthwatering pani puri past your lips, or are sitting down at a fine dining restaurant to a full seven course meal, you probably aren't over-analyzing your meal. You just want it to taste good, be filling, and not cost an arm and a leg. I would say on average Indian cinema can deliver on that, but occasionally you taste something which you don't like (but others do) or even more rarely your meal isn't properly cooked and you want to send it back (I'm looking at you, Kareena Kapoor.) So in movie terms, instead of telling which plot point should have changed, the actors that should have been in the movie, and all of the other should have, would have, could haves, I try to just focus on the flavor and eek out what enjoyment there is.

I was most definitely enjoyable, and contained all the Tamil ihstyle you would expect. Highlights include a lengthy brawl in a male body building competition. Ladies and auntys rejoice, that is a scene that can be replayed for much enjoyment, and your male counterparts will surely enjoy looking on also to admire the impressive physiques.

The songs are beautiful and stunning, although somewhat jarring in Telugu. I imagine they must be worse in Hindi, this type of music you want to listen to in its natural tongue which is Tamil and I say its worth listening to even after the movie ends.

I was fascinated by the amount of sponsorship/product placement in this movie. Granted it focuses on a girl who acts in commercials, so the cheeky attitude about it was appreciated.

I don't want to give any spoilers but I watched this movie smiling just as I would eat a delicious laddoo.

One final thought, is that as a native English speaker, I find myself self conscious in these movies because I can read the subtitles faster than the proper timing in the dialogues is delivered. I have noticed I have adjusted when I laugh to match with the audience. Sometimes this is me holding in a chuckle that slowly builds into a rumbling roar if the joke is funny enough.

Do check out 'I', even if you're not normally a fan of south Indian film, it is definitely as consumable as any sweet.

Bollywood has gone the way of Pop

I was having dinner and drinks with another couple the other day at this incredible upscale Vietnamese place called Monsoon in Bellevue. We are all people who are very passionate about about music. The husband of the other couple is a producer and also a DJ and I'm the kind of person who appreciates most forms of music and wishes I had learned how to play something a long time ago. I still have some aspirations to learn to produce and DJ, I think the technical part of it would come to me well, there's just a big gap of instrument knowledge, musical math, and what not.

We started to talk about Bollywood. This is a genre I've only begun listening to since around 2010, and something most Indians are familiar with all of their lives. Some love and live by it, others prefer other styles of music or music from different parts of the world. This gentleman hates it. He says its uninspired, lacks originality, and as a producer you can't really do much with it.

This really got me thinking about how Bollywood music can be so divisive for people, and even thinking deeper about how people could hate music that is so catchy. Of course, every individual will have his or her taste in music. Whether its a regional folk song from your hometown in a village in India, or in your college years you discovered Rock music from America, or the incredible electronic styles coming out of Europe, music is a rhythm life moves to.

I had to look at what Bollywood is now compared to before. Many of my friends from India talk about how exciting it was when their family got a TV and how they would look forward to watching the 1-2 channels that were first available when it came out. How only later could they get more channels, and how they would rush out to the theater to see their favorite hero, or take a glimpse of a sexy heroine they wouldn't see otherwise.  The older generation of Bollywood was always paving the way for the next exciting movie, the more talented and muscle hero, the more edgy scene of movie making. Bollywood today has had its novelty and charm from yesteryear slowly eroded away to make room for the new multiplex movie blockbuster.

It's no longer about defining what India cinema is Mumbai, but who is going to invest more crores, earn more crores, do the newest stunts, which movie has the sexiest scenes, racing against other movies. Most of the people you see on the screen are all relatives of just a few families, so with this "progressive" attitude, Bollywood is a double edged sword. Yes, it is breaking through some social taboo, and some films are sending social messages, and some are actually artful (for example, Finding Fanny).

However, a lot of Bollywood is now recycled. There's very little new talent (and I'm not sure India would want to take a risk on new talent, versus following the personal drama of everyone's lives, and thriving on stupid newspaper articles on Deepika's assets) and very little innovation from a creative standpoint. Don't get me wrong, for pushing taboos of what is allowed in a movie and the messages some are sending, there absolutely is progress. Bollywood has the true power to influence the masses. However, if music is your passion, after thinking long and hard there is very little to excite.

Honey Signh is a household name and singing so many of the songs, they start to sound the same after a while. I remember driving on a trip to Oregon and the car-DJ puts on "Sharabi" which was featured to market Happy New Year. I felt so excited to hear a hindi rap that wasn't Honey Singh and also had a great sound.

My personal taste in music is a little different than the masses and I think it helps me understand. I love Tamil Rap so artists like Anirudh keep me interested, so when he suddenly teams up with Honey Singh, my ears perk up. When Bhaag Milka Bhaag came out, the throaty sound of Divya Kumar singing in a few songs that were fused with some very western elements were really curious. A.R. Rahman obviously keeps upping the ante with his music and experimental style.

When I think of the whole of Bollywood, the really popular songs, the dance songs, the ones that get requested in the club over and over again, however, there's a lot of stagnation. Many of these songs are sampling a western song and I feel torn. Part of me is like oh this is familiar! and the other part is like "I have already heard this 5 million times, now I'm hearing it in Hindi which I only understand a percentage of."

Some of the dance moves are copying each other, or older dances as well. For me, Kareena Kapoor and Katrina Kaif are practically interchangeable in any movie, as they are treated more like set decoration and sex objects than actual heroines. You can't even compare them to Deepika Padukone or Priyanka Chopra (Mary Kom anyone?).

What I realized at the end of a very long process is that it boils down to one thing. In America, we have a genre we call "Pop." This encompasses several styles of music, but mainly what is "Popular." These are usually upbeat songs that sometimes are earworms that get stuck in your head for days and you are singing the lyrics in the shower, or quietly at the office when you think no one can hear you. These songs have a recognizable beat and have sort of defined their own genre (You won't hear a pure rock song as a pop song now) but its hard to describe pop. It's kind of a pleasing music because its predictable. You know the beat, you can feel the song.

Bollywood has become India's Pop genre. Some people want to innovate and hear the newest latest greatest most amazing thing, and others are happy with the pure bliss that comes from hearing predictable music. I think I fall somewhere in the middle. Maybe I don't have to compare today's Bollywood that I hear to a legend like Shammi Kapoor. I find today's Bollywood easily digestable, but it leaves me hungry wanting more.

Cheers to over 100 years in cinema, and best wishes for getting out of your rut and redfining the future. The current heroes and heroines we have are going to continue to get older, and have kids (who won't yet be old enough to act for some time) and it will leave a gap for talent. Maybe some fresh faces on and off the scene will shake things up, who knows. Anything can happen, right?