The Sanam Shaadi Saga (Day 3)

Welcome back to our regularly scheduled blog post, with its host, yours truly, feeling better and much more hydrated after figuring out the super scary leg swelling episode of death is seemingly just related to being dehydrated. I've never had puffiness like this before but hey, what a fine way to wake up, feeling great!

Upon waking I had a fruit that was grown in Ravi's house called sitapal (sugar apple) which I had as a nice little snack before I showered and got ready for the day

Happy Diwali! What a wonderful feeling. I can sense the joy and electricity in the air and after having a refreshing bath I met my surrogate family for breakfast in which they served some of the most delicious vada I've had the opportunity to taste with a nut based chutney and now a spicy tomato chutney. Each bite was met with a crispy exterior of fried besan (flour type) with the soft sumptuous flavor of the dough inside with its mixture of spices. Accompanying these doughnut shaped delicacies is some ghee rice. Carb alert! My carb intake has spiked exponentially but its just for a  few weeks, so might as well enjoy!

After having a belly full of food it was time to venture out to do some serious shopping.

We piled into the car with Ravi's mom and dad (my Aatma & Mamaya), and two sisters. It was a little bit of a longer drive. I still have no sense of direction as we navigate the city, only knowing where I am near someplace familiar by landmarks. Some of the shops have funny names like 'Crazy Men Fashion" and "Big C, you can't resist temptation" which that last one is apparently a mobile phone store.

We reach a jeweler's shop that is small compared to the grand mall like one's I've seen closer to my home. The gentlemen inside seem to know Ravi's mom. If I understood correctly she has been shopping here for some time. The way most of the shopping goes is my family-to-be sits down and starts asking for things which get displayed in front of me. Then someone usually realizes there's some language barrier and will ask me do you like this? Its for (insert event here). Usually I have some idea in advance of what I'm shopping for, but they will explain its meaning a little bit and more about recent fashions versus traditions. It's educational! We started looking at a mandatory necklace for the wedding called kasulaperu, which I've linked to a random google search store that will give you some idea what these look like. The other necklace that is okay to wear, or sometimes combined with this is called temple jewely.

So after looking at 5 or 6 designs a beautiful temple necklace with matching earrings came with a unique red finish to it (so I learned 22k gold can take on the look of what color you polish it with so it can have a hint of black, red, or just be very yellow) I try it on and something clicks. It's a little unique, and Ravi tells me, "don't worry if you like this kind, we can take kasulaperu next year or some other time but this one looks really good." I feel so happy that this is how I feel too and a lot of my decisions, though they are mine, are also in similar taste with his family too.

As we think about settling on this temple necklace, I also start checking out gold chains to wear the mangalsutra in the marriage ceremony. I'm still a little unclear on how this works. I think It's about having 1 "coin" and having another joined when Ravi will tie it on my neck. I will find out soon enough. Ravi's mom had the men at the store take a picture of hers and has ordered a similar design, which seems to be the tradition, to carry on the similar design from generation to generation. I feel honored to be bestowed with the responsibility of such a tradition.

As this is going on, a man from the store shows up with a new selection of items. Ravi explained to me that they have a network with the other stores and can show up with new models to try to tempt you into buying more or changing your mind. The way everyone whispers and goes back in forth in negotiation and such really reminds me of what it was like sitting with my parents in America as they were buying a car. There would be some initial viewing knowing in the back of your mind what you want, a dance between customer and salesman; no perhaps a swordfight. Each offer, counter offer, and escalation taking a jab at each other going back and forth.

Eventually all was said and done and everyone seemed pleased. This was such a serious affair but I was able to sneak a picture. This might easily be about $200,000 USD in jewelry. The bottom right diamond with ruby was $16,000 when we asked. It's mind boggling how many stores like this one, and even bigger, completely dot the landscape wherever you go, almost the way Starbucks is in America. Buying gold is so ingrained to the culture here and part of important rituals and auspiscious times that I see an economy built on such practices and for better or for worse its a big driver here.

After spending a little over our budget, and me experiencing the shock and awe of buying gold, we went out to eat to fill our tummies after working so hard. We went to Hotel Grand Swagath. Many of the hotels and restaurants here are combined. Ravi tells me that eating out wasn't a very common thing and the way to do it was to go to these hotels who also have restaurants and takeaways. I have only seen a few stand alone restaurants not coupled with a hotel here which explains why people call restaurants hotels back in America.

It was interesting being served as we ordered szechuan fried rice, paneer tikka masala, dal, roti, rice.. Everyone was eating with their hands and I was eating with a fork like a tacky American simply because I usually do this at a restaurant. In Seattle I eat with my hands at an Indian restaurant but this seemed so, not like that so I felt a little embarassed inside but really enjoyed the paneer. Somehow that curry was so rich it almost had a bacon like taste. I was impressed by vegetarian food and that doesn't happen often. One thing to note that was a little different from restaurants back in the US is that at the end of a meal a nice little rinse of water for cleaning your hands is brought in a bowl.

After our meal we joined up with Ravi's sisters and nieces at APR Gardens where our marriage function will take place. We got to check out the large outdoor area where the decorations and main event will be held. It was very grand and has a nice indoor space to the right of the main area for the food and on the left hand side there are rooms for the bridal party to get ready in. The rooms on the top floor seemed much better than the ground floor. The ground floor room smelled a little like mildew and urine. At least they have western restrooms so its easier to get ready, we will manage! Overall I think its actually going to be beautiful and amazing and everything you want your wedding to be, this was just seeing the backbone that will jump to life with decorations and people and food and such.

That evening we switched cars so I went with the girls gang somewhere out far near the airport to a ladies house who is a tailor and good friends with Ravi's sister. Her house is very grand on the bottom floor with large wooden doors and brass handles. Its surrounded by a gate which, as we were trying to get our measurements taken for our saree blouses, a monkey was running around. Deekshita and Nandini were having fun laughing at seeing it running around. After my measurements I needed to stretch my legs after sitting through so much shopping and eating so we took a quick walk around the house. The young girls and I were on the dusty road seeing kids play with fireworks of all types. Sparklers, firecrackers, even the ones that shoot up into the sky. Its amazing - in America you need a pyrotechnics license for those and they are banned in many places. Here you might see a 5 year old playing with them. As I was taking in my surroundings a big pig ran by us rushing into the bushes looking for something tasty to eat. It's complete sensory overload with bangs and booms, smells and sounds, and rainbows of color from shopping and stitching.

After all of the girls got the services they needed we returned home, stopping at a bus depot where we picked up Ravi. He had bags and bags full of fireworks that we would be lighting off at my house. He picked them up at a wholesale place. We drove back to my surrogate home with so many crackers (Indianism for fireworks) bursting in the air, on the ground, inbetween cars and bikes, and everywhere inbetween.

After taking care of some urgent business and reminding Ravi that its important to prioritize our shopping and other work around restroom availability; India is not very convenient for ladies, so you either get dehydrated with scary puffy ankles, or drink a lot and need to find stores and shops or return home between trips to.. you know.

We went downstairs with bags of fire works. I can be jumpy around loud noises and the ones we had were LOUD so I happened to have my earplugs that I wear when I'm in nightclubs with me so I wore those and actually had a fan-freaking-tastic time. All of the houses had lit diyas (oil burning pots usually made out of clay) and as the bright lights burned all around the city, we lit off fountains, and crackers, and ones that spun, even one that spun and jumped up and exploded at our friends. The boys were lighting crackers and throwing them near each other, the girls were using sparklers to light off the other fireworks.

The Sanam Shaadi Saga (Day 2)

Day 2 on this journey began somewhere around 3 and 4am. Sounds of fireworks, or "crackers" being set off by kids eager for Diwali and celebrating Choti Diwali (little Diwali) the day before. Its like there is some chain reaction of sound. From pure silence where event the crickets are sleeping, one blast makes a dog bark, a dog barking begets another dog, the dogs wake up the people whom you can hear brushing their teeth and beginning their routines, then the bikes, and the honking.

None of these sounds really get noticed by anyone, unless you happen to have just landed and are acclimating to your surroundings and really would rather be sleeping. These sounds somehow also come with  a charm. Somewhere in this time the large pigeon sleeping in the exhaust fan area of the bathroom makes his loud 'coo coo' noise and the echo into the bathroom sounds like a large cat is purring. It's actually endearing. Feeling how different it is to my home back home makes me smile. Although I'm here on a mission, enjoying the context of being a world a way from home can be a wonderful feeling. It gives you perspective on what you're doing in your own life, and gives some space to mentally relax from the typical rat race we live in.

I was able to enjoy an incredible breakfast, eggs and toast sandwhich, also with dosa and chutney. The family here has been feeding me more than I should eat and helping take care of my laundry. I have literally no worries in the world beyond whatever I need to deal with in the day. After having lunch and having some time to wait as I prepare to go shopping, I timepass with the daughter of the house keeper, Monica, who is able to speak some English and very curious about everything about this American.

Since Ravi's sister and her family landed the evening after we did, it took an extra amount of time for everyone to get rested and ready to go out in the evening. There were a few hiccups in everyone's schedule that day. For me, my right foot had swollen up like a balloon just after lunchtime.

Ravi was on his way over and looking down and seeing one giant ham for a foot when I am a world away from my own language and culture was very daunting. A strange panic set in where I connected the dots to seeing only one swollen leg, being on an airplane travelling for about a 24 hour journey, and I felt completely and utterly terrified. Truth be told, I have had panic attacks in the past, anxiety is nothing to shake a stick at, but this was amplified with a severe loneliness caused by being out of one's normal element.

To my surprise I got to experience what it was like going to see a doctor in India. Wasn't in my itinerary, but the curious part of me that stays lucid in the back of my mind while experience this panic was able to remember some of the details.

We went to a place called omni hospital and walked into a triage room. There a nice doctor tried his best with a slight lack of bedside manner that I was fine, its normal, and nothing is wrong. What he couldn't understand was the type of panic I was feeling, and despite my future sister in law asking me to be normal and not express how afraid I am, and me successfully doing so, they basically dismissed me.

I couldn't help well up in tears thinking of some of the worst possible outcomes if this was something as severe as DVT, and at the same time I had never had anything like this happen to be so I was unable to think of a simple and more probable cause such as dehydration.

After a bout of crying my soon to be family helped me talk to one more doctor after shortly waiting in a dimly lit waiting room that had a green tinge to it, I'm not sure from the lighting or the paint on the wall. The people in the waiting room seemed like patient zombies, completely attuned to whatever appointment system is taken. Somehow, luckily, I was able to skip that line. This new doctor had much better tact and empathy for my situation and explained to me nicely about how edema in the legs work. He gave some tablets that I'm still unsure of (Enzoheal, for digestion or edema, if you google it, you be the judge.), assured me I was safe to walk around, exist, sleep, etc and sent me on my way. I took an ACE bandage to wrap in compression around my right leg to help keep the swelling down.

With being somewhat assured and still acclimating, we decided to take advantage of some of the time that evening and went shopping at Mehbaz. This is a multi tiered store with Ladies wear on the first floor and gents above.

We were checking on some of their special half sarees, but it seems they need a very long lead time for the stitching of such things. We then looked into special sarees. It was here several people worked to take sarees from their shelves and lay them in front of us at a table where we all sat, enjoying some water (and I with my bottled water.) One after the other, different designs and colors were displayed in front of us, one beautiful saree at war with the next trying to be the lucky one who is chosen by very specific and detail oriented purchasers.

I selected one that I wanted to try on, with a lighter georgette type material, and two ladies wearing identical sarees slipped a velctro belt on me to act as my "petticoat" to try this on. I was mezmerized watching the one in front of me pleat the waist section, tucking it into the belt first, then wrapping the rest around me, as the other lady quickly created the pleats in the pallu and in about 15 seconds I was already dressed. Now that's efficient! And as I looked in the mirror, something was slightly missing. I took my hair out of my ponytail and heard a few "wow!"s coming from everyone involved in this affair. I think I had found a winner.

The next selection was to be made for a pattu saree made from kanchevaram silk. Commonly known as kanchepattu, these are usually two to three colors in rich, decadant silk that can be a little heavier, with dramatic pallus to fall over your shoulder, with the silk sometimes being tied off in little intervals to act as decoration.

I am trying to make these selections across a language barrier and with some translation so I was able to point to a color I could see and request they bring the pattu sarees in that color. Throughout this whole shopping process, again I am finding my future mother and law and I have similar taste. The final selection came down to two very similar sarees but with inverted colors. I'm intentionally leaving the specifics out so the photos of the wedding events will reveal the true detail of these clothing items.

I picked something more decadant than I thought, but I think it will just be elegant and amazing for our engagement. I'm very excited to see how it will be. We took those, and a jewelry set Ravi spotted to match, and decided to use Vodhina's (sister in laws) tailor for the blouse stitching.

After returning home, I felt accomplished in shopping but still very scared about the events and very isolated. I felt afraid to be alone. Everyone was very understanding, and very tired with their schedules being mixed up for the flurry of events happening, so they agreed to let Ravi come work over here and keep an eye on me while I slept. It made me feel so much better. And beyond just that, the way my future family is interacting with me and taking care of me is giving me a piece of mind that I wouldn't have had otherwise, so slowly I have been able to calm down from the panic and start to really enjoy Hyderabad.

The Sanam Shaadi Saga (Day 1)

Hello, blog, its been a while. I think I have a regular frequency of writing, it just has regularly long gaps between posts!

Well in a previous post I mentioned a boyfriend, but in the last several months that has turned into me going to India to get married to him! Yay! So handling my awesome profession, my company and its events, and a wedding halfway around the world with customs I'm still learning.. it kind of drains your time and energy... At least for blogging

I'm sitting here in Hyderabad with some incredible weather documenting my trip as best as possible. Not sure how that will go when the hectic parts of the wedding festivities come to light but lets see!

I've nearly published a wedding website and made a Facebook page. I can only imagine what future generations might think reading something like this, and how our parents and generations before them never had the opportunity to do such a thing with technology.

Ravi and I left Seattle with a connection in Dubai, then right on to Hyderabad. The plane ride was fairly uneventful but after sitting for 14 hours one might call it a pain ride. Our ears somehow survived the droning engines, inaudible Arabic announcements (Emirates flight) and screaming children. With great relief and a bit of a long wait, we made it through customs and met Ravi's mom, dad, and niece at the airport.

There's a big language barrier but I could feel all of the emotions that one might expect when parents first meet the future bride of their son. There is a hint of excitement and love and caring behind the anxiety and apprehension. His niece was shy, not very talkative despite messaging me on facebook, but seeing her smile when she saw us come out from the airport told me enough. This is a very happy family and I feel so incredible lucky and excited to become a part of it!

Upon getting into the car with Ravi and Nandini, I naturally out of habit to try to put on my seatbelt. I am struggling to find the second part that you put the latch into, when Ravi turns around from the front and tells me, "This is India, don't worry about it!" Its funny how those habits form and you don't even realize it.

The ride to Ravi's friends house which will be the official bridal house in our affairs is maybe 30 minutes from the airport. There's little traffic on the road, nor traffic lines and its about 4AM. I see lines of stalls and shops and very few people out at this hour. I can imagine how it will be once people are awake. I see lots of palm trees that remind me of my home on the island. I wonder if this in a weird way feels like home away from home.

We arrive and climb 4 flights of stairs with luggage to my new temporary home in India. It's owned by Kotesh garu, one of Ravi's school friends who has been so gracious to host me. They have set aside my own room and bathroom and his wife and sister (i need to check if I understood the relationship right) are here as well. They help me feel comfortable as they talk with Ravi and his family and catch up. I notice Ravi's dad fall asleep in the chair. I realize I should sleep too so I napped for a few hours. The excitemen to of being here kept me awake and I felt ready for adventure.

I realized I had missed the sounds and smells, honking bikes, kids, pigeons, people using their restrooms, some masjid in the far off distance, chai walla selling coffee and chai at the break of dawn, dogs barking. It's a cacophony of sensory information that can be almost overwhelming if you're unfamiliar with it. Coming from a different country it seems so different, yet it is simply the way of life here. I feel lucky I had visited India before, it has definitely prepared me for the next month ahead.

Its my first time visiting the south here, and I see differences, but they are subtle and hard to describe. For an American its like comparing New York to LA, or Seattle to Portland. Each are very different cities with very unique characteristics, but the way of life in all of them are relatively similar. I'm sure with more exposure I'll find a more tangible way to describe these.

After securing what I hope is a good supply of water (avoiding travellers tummy) and having a few winks of sleep, I'm able to dress up and be ready to go outside. Some small anxiety is there but mostly excitement. I also somehow managed to not pack my hairbrush. This is an utter disaster if you're a woman with long hair. I've managed to put enough product in it and comb my fingers through that its manageable. Need to secure another one before it gets too out of control.

It happens to be Dhanteras, a very auspicious time to purchase gold as the festival season is in full swing in preparation for Diwali.

I'm picked up by Ravi and his dad and we are taken to where his mom and sister are waiting. We start looking at gold chains to see what I like and I'm told its for the marriage day when the groom ties the mangalsutra. After seeing a few trays brought out, I short listed a few and the one I liked seemed to have had a defect. With no apology from the shop worker, we decide to move on for greener pastures.

The only way to describe this day for me in a truly American fashion is its like Black Friday sales, but just for gold. It's considered very lucky to buy gold on this day so everyone and their mother, literally, are out buying gold.

Our car driver dodges traffic like a pro and we get down at a place called Kazhana. We wait and try to elbow and push ourselves in line to see the selections and the same people who were climbing over us in the last store are there ahead of us. This time we look at the mangalsutra that the bride wears, if I recall correctly 16 days after the marriage and its basically a necklace akin to the American wedding ring. It's a more manageable design. We see one tray and I keep aside one necklace.

We ask "Raju" to see another and Ravi's mom's and my finger collide as we point at the same necklace. It seems we have the same taste a bit in jewelry. Its fantastic and I felt like this piece picked me when I saw it on my neck. Stunning. We decide to take it. First purchase in Hyderabad. Unfortunately this shop didn't take cards so we had to quickly get cash from an atm, but its managed.

The whole shopping experience took 2-3 hours, most of it just waiting in the one shop. I am not sure if I was allowed to take pictures in the shop so I was a little sneaky about it with my phone.

I was dropped back at home and Ravi's mom was excited to share our purchase with the aunties here. They all seemed to like the design and I felt very happy.  A nice way to end the evening and rest up for more shopping on Day 2.

April is incredibly busy!

What an exciting month. I'm working on Wicked Karma's Bollysutra dance party for the month and going with an Urban Punjabi theme. I'm working on Naach Meri Jaan, I'm reading all kinds of articles about feminism and seeing all kinds of misogyny rearing its ugly head on the Internet. I'm thinking of my family, skipping Easter and Drunkster, and so many other things, where to begin.

As much as I wanted to follow my previous social experiment up with something more concrete, it has to take a back burner, or maybe never happen. I feel like I just hopped onto a roller coaster and have just started my ascent to a very high apogee, and have little view to the rest of the track, but in a fun way! This is the part where you know your stomach is about to leap up into your mouth and you scream both with excitement and a little bit of fear, hoping that the engineers who built said roller coaster have done their jobs well and the security and maintenance team have checked everything out.

I'm producing Naach Meri Jaan (in English, Dance my Darling) which is a reality tv show. I'm doing it for Seattle. It basically is a dance talent competition with five categories; Kids solo, kids group, adult solo, adult group, and duet. I have been meticulously working on every aspect of the logistics of this and its a lot of work! They say learning to delegate is a good skill of a manager but some skills you just have and can't pass on to others. I'm also observing how my friends, volunteers, and staff work with me and am appreciating them so much.

So much of NMJ is exciting from meeting new people who I'm marketing to, pushing my creativity to new heights behind marketing and production. I was feeling very nostalgic when I went on to tour the theater we are holding the semifinal competition in. I had worked in high school one year in the drama department because I wanted to perform. My audition didn't go so well for the Sound of Music, but I got asked to help work on tech with my old friend Mike Henry (who later became a teacher at our same high school). I remember learning what a 'gel' was and having to replace them, and programming lights in the tech booth as well as playing computer games up there while people rehearsed. It all came back as I walked through Meydenbauer Center's theater. Who knew that would play a part in my life later?

I must also confess shows like these requireme sponsorships, and they are very painful things to convince people to do. It's hard asking our family and friends to borrow money, its even more difficult to ask people who are usually complete strangers for money. I'm convinced when I ask that it is indeed in their best interest and can be very persuasive as to why that is. I think society's outlook on currency just makes this an irritating process. I can only hope for myself that I tread with the utmost respect, dignity, and care for such delicate matters.

There are so many other aspects of producing this show that go into scheduling, producing promos and marketing material, videos, raw footage, uploading, forms, fields, coordination, phone calls, my month is so packed and its only just begun. Seattle's semifinals are April 26. What a fantastic journey.

Meanwhile some highlights in the media have been all the buzz about Deepika Padukone's "My Choice" video that was released by Vogue. It's for women's empowerment and feminism. However something unfortunate happened. There's a line that says something like "its my choice to decide if I want to have sex before marriage, outside of marriage, or no sex at all..." which I can logically see she is making the point that she should be able to choose what she wants to do, without losing respect, without being judged, and be treated as a man's equal.

Somehow people suddenly jump to conclusions that, "oh my god, she's saying we should all cheat on our husbands, what a stupid person!" It's as if the group of people reacting to this video in that way have completely missed out on the fact its about making choices instead of being dictated by society what to do. The irony is hilarious, but terribly sad at the same time. Indian society is also a bit behind on its ideals compared to the west so surely the same reactionaries have not thought of consensual swinging, polyamory, and the like where there are more situations than just "cheating" where sex can happen outside of marriage. Sometimes it feels like my faith in humanity dwindles... until I see some new cat video that is getting passed around on Facebook. Is this what life is right now? I have no idea how to conceptualize what it might be in a few more generations, and it has me really wondering if I have kids exactly how to raise them.

Working on a monthly dance party is normally hard work, but somehow feels like white noise compared to the extra work I've been doing, in addition to my day job. Even in that arena I am taking on new work to push my skills to their limits and grow. I still am at a loss for words to define exactly what 'urban punjabi' is except that it defines itself. It's not Bhangra. It's not Bollywood, its not Hip Hop, but really its a brilliant fusion that I think often slips under the radar. There are sounds happening in this domain that will be genre defining after a few years as it grows in popularity. I'm still a padawan learner in this, too, but what a great musical journey. I'm really excited to see how the party turns out.

I'm also a little tense. My dad is in the hospital for congestive heart failure. There has been liquid in his heart and scans are showing blood clots and some other not cool things. A few years ago he had neck surgery with a big steel rod put in place to relieve spinal pressure on his spinal cord. He had some complications and nearly died and after reading his blog about what nearly dying is like, it has been like every day is a bucket list day for me. Its teaching me to care for myself more (sometimes I get too busy to remember to eat, going hiking today reminded me I really need to see a doctor about my ankle that I sprained last year, etc) and I can only hope that breakneck pace to life is a good ethic for me and my boyfriend. He weathers it all very patiently. I don't know how he does it but he's become a pillar of support in my life I can't live without. Roller coaster.

Naach Meri Jaan Seattle

So long to shaadi.com

So the initial concept for a social experiment was sound! However, in practicality the experiment as it is will not work.

I set up my account, which was arduous to say the least. I found a nice stock photo of a girl to submit, used a google voice account (which unfortunately forwarded to my real stuff), photoshopped my driver's license, and finally was approved. In the middle of the work day. SPAM! Spam all over my email, random text messages being sent to me. I was busy with work when it happened so I didn't notice it until later.

I interact with two dev teams who are offshore in Gurgaon for part of my project and so at night I was busy with them. It wasn't until 6.30 Friday morning I woke up disturbed by text messages coming from who knows where.

I sent some rude things back and after seeing just the amount of spam, even turning everything off as much as possible, I can't handle it for the experiment's sake.

I do have to say, though, that everyone was polite. I think the majority are probably coming here to actually find a match for more than just one night, or at least there was no initial shock like some of the messages I've had on Facebook and elsewhere, so for now, I've deleted my profile. I hope they all find whoever they are searching for!

In the meantime, my knee is doing better so I got to visit Snoqualmie Falls this weekend. Didn't do the hike down to the fall but felt good to get some fresh air and walk a little bit! Still struggling with stairs a bit, but getting there!

Impromptu fashion show! Some leggings came in the mail, I found a good sale at Fred Meyer, and finally was able to try on a Lehenga I was planning to wear for Valentine's day but couldn't. Surprisingly but happy all of them got the boyfriend's appreciation too. Yay. Sometime's you can't help but enjoy that. Now just need the warmer weather to come to accompany the clothes!

Holi is well on its way to arriving soon which means colored hair, a messy car, doing a few loads of wash and a Bollywood party in a club  where we can't throw color. What a task to reinvent such an old tradition. We are going to GLOW our colors instead of throw them and have a lot of fun with glowsticks and what not! Can't wait.

More interesting thoughts when I think of them, 

Gratitude and Waiting

I don't have much of a focused theme for today's post. Just jotting down a few quick thoughts before my lunch break is up.

A week ago or so I hurt my knee. I was kneeling/crouching to put air in my tires. I was wrestling a bear. Two days later there was swelling, and I was completely unable to put weight on my right leg. I ended up going to an urgent care center and was diagnosed with bursitis. I think life wanted to poke me a little and remind me not to take anything for granted. Showering, putting on clean clothes, being pain free, not worrying about taking too much ibuprofen or tylenol are generally things we do daily and we don't think anything about it.

I spent a few mornings crying, unable to even stand up from the pain after using the restroom in the morning and it was very dehumanizing. It made me realize how much a person has, even if he hardly has anything at all. Health is truly wealth.

My boyfriend luckily took the best care of me that was possible. I was enduring the Facebook onslaught of Valentine's Day dates, dinners, flowers, chocolates, drinks, romance, proposals, and marriages. I felt supreme in having a gift that can't come in a box nor be delivered with roses. True caring and companionship on the deepest level.  I can't even take a picture of this intangible thing to post on Facebook, but its surely there since I felt it.

In the meantime I am waiting for some identity approval over at Shaadi.com to execute the previously thought out experiment. There are so many types of verifications and approvals I hope I am still able to conduct this experiment. If I am not, I will revert back to an American dating site which will surely reveal just as terrible mannerisms and behavior.

One final thought, on today which is a day that celebrates when Shiva married Parvati and they danced in the mountains, Shivaratri, I am not observing a fast. I will be eating vegetarian. I wanted to prove that I can walk in the path of a Hindu but I don't think I'm ready to take it on completely yet and doing so at a random point, might have less meaning. Do I mean to convert? Convert from what? In some schools of thought we are all born Hindu and its merely learning the poojas and practices. I was advised to study deeper into the meaning and if I felt strong enough, then do the appropriate fasting.

While I'm searching my own introspection to find out how I feel about that, I do feel very strongly against whatever sad, sadistic moron decided to defile Bothell's Hindu temple with a nazi swastika and the words "get out" .. The same person also spray painted the same to a school yesterday but it was addressed to Muslims .It is so sad to see ignorance breeding intolerance. This person clearly didn't even realize that swastiks come from Hinduism and were sadly misused by the nazis. I can only hope this person becomes educated and more matured and understanding on the matter, and hopefully more educated.